Ok, please please help me, I know I have seen this question asked before but I really need to know from a doctor point of view.
I am 19 , female and am 5'5 in height and weight 128 pounds.
I dont eat, at all, if I do, I get sick straight after. I cant stand the idea of food festering in my body and making me fat.
I hate living like this, I want to be able to sit down to a meal and enjoy it, but I cant, I actually cant do that anymore. Its impossible. I feel so so down all the time about it, when I feel my stomach empty and in pain with hunger is one of the few times I am even close to happy.
I have had a people tell me recently things like 'OMG you are soo skinny' 'you have such a class figure' 'have you lost weight?' and for a minute I am happy andd proud and the likes and then I feel like they are making jokes, they are being sarcastic, and I know it makes no sense, but its what my brain does.

Please tell me is this an eating disorder? becasue I dont know and even if it is, I dont want it gone but I want it gone at the same time.