My husband wants to live away from me because after 11 yrs of marriage he can't handle me. I find myself getting worse as far as extremely on edge and scratching through my hair constantly as well as picking scabs or making new ones. I am a hair dresser and feel like I am getting to the point that I can't work. I'm over whelmed with every thing all of the time. I have been have more and more thoughts of suicide like making detailed planes of how I would do it so my husband would still get the insurance money. But at the same time my Christian beliefs make it to were I stop. I hate life. I hate me and what I do to everyone. I have talked to my phyc about being put in the hospital or treatment center. They do think a treatment center would be good. But I can't afford to leave work. I'm doomed no matter what. There is no way out. I constantly hope to have surgery of any type done so I have a reason people will be alright with to be hospitalized. I wish there was a home I could go to an stay forever.