Abortion Debate Forum - Does This Woman Want Grandchildren So Badly

that she would ignore what is best for her own daughter just to get them? I am referring to the mother of the teen who wrote this post on the teen pregnancy forum:

I am 19 years old and found out I am having Twins. I was shocked and scared but then I talked to my mom and she said it was a gift from God. I have learned to accept this and cant wait to see my babies. Its a girl and a boy. My father is still not very accepting of this and thinks I should of gotten rid of it. I am 22 weeks now but a week ago ended up in preterm labor and almost lost my babies. I had to get a cerclage done (cervical stitching). Now I am on bed rest. This is my first pregnancy and it has been really hard.

Having twins when you are not prepared emotionally or financially is an extreme burden to place on a young woman. The girl's father obviously sees this, and you can tell from the words chosen by the teen herself that she is ambivalent at best about all of this.

"I was shocked and scared"
"I have learned to accept this "
" Now I am on bed rest. This is my first pregnancy and it has been really hard."

I guess my question is, how often is it the grandmother-to-be's overwhelming desire to have grandchildren that causes them to coerce their unwilling pregnant daughters into childbearing?

Replies(9)

diamondsz

replied on October 8th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Chriss, the woman is probably bored out of her mind and needs something to do, isn't that which usually happens?

NeutralUsername

replied on October 8th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

Re: Does This Woman Want Grandchildren So Badly

aochriss wrote:

that she would ignore what is best for her own daughter just to get them? I am referring to the mother of the teen who wrote this post on the teen pregnancy forum:

kvlv89 wrote:

I am 19 years old and found out I am having Twins. I was shocked and scared but then I talked to my mom and she said it was a gift from God. I have learned to accept this and cant wait to see my babies. Its a girl and a boy. My father is still not very accepting of this and thinks I should of gotten rid of it. I am 22 weeks now but a week ago ended up in preterm labor and almost lost my babies. I had to get a cerclage done (cervical stitching). Now I am on bed rest. This is my first pregnancy and it has been really hard.

Having twins when you are not prepared emotionally or financially is an extreme burden to place on a young woman. The girl's father obviously sees this, and you can tell from the words chosen by the teen herself that she is ambivalent at best about all of this.

"I was shocked and scared"
"I have learned to accept this "
" Now I am on bed rest. This is my first pregnancy and it has been really hard."

I guess my question is, how often is it the grandmother-to-be's overwhelming desire to have grandchildren that causes them to coerce their unwilling pregnant daughters into childbearing?

First of all, being shocked and scared does NOT mean she didn't want these babies. No where does it say that the mother forced her to keep the pregnancy.

."..cant wait to see my babies."
"...almost lost my babies."
"Its a girl and a boy."

This shows that she may not have been 100% sure about having an abortion. She may have even regretted it if she chose to abort the twins.

And why is it okay for the father to think she should have gotten an abortion, but not okay for the mother to think she should keep her babies? Isn't that hypocritical? Who are you to decide that she couldn't or shouldn't be having kids? How are you different than a pro-lifer?

AyaMiyaki

replied on October 8th, 2008

Especially eHealthy

I'm automatically suspicious of teen "I'm having twins" posts, so I'll just say that up front. glance

The first thought that comes into my head is that I have a daughter (and another daughter on the way), and if one of them came to me and said they were pregnant with twins, I wouldn't be telling her what a blessing it is. I'd probably be beside myself with horror and grief that my daughter's childhood is basically over.

Then again, I'm planning on not only educating my children about safe sex practices, but also birth control. Hopefully by the time they've reached that age, birth control methods will have expanded and improved. I would be extremely comfortable having my teenaged daughters on a method of reliable birth control even if they weren't sexually active. So hopefully this situation will not apply to me one day. I want my children to reproduce when they're ready, not before.

NeutralUsername

replied on October 8th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

We don't know the whole story. Is she living on her own? What kind of guy is she with? Is she in a relationship? Did she have a job? How does she even feel about abortion?!

Birch

replied on October 8th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

she said it was a gift from God

Blinded by fairy tales and fantasies.

aochriss

replied on October 8th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

NUN, the question of the thread is about the true motivations of the future grandmother.

kyrafaith

replied on October 8th, 2008

Supporter

The grandmother is probably just trying to be supportive of her daughter in a tough time. I can understand being pro-choice, but just because you get pregnant as a teen doesnt mean " oh i think ill just abort it like it never happened." Abortion is an option but its not the only option. I am only 18 and Im pregnant, I work full time, and I go to college but I still have time to hang out with my friends and what not, and Im happy that I chose to keep my son. Abortion doesnt have to be the only solution, apparently the grandmother is supportive of her decision and going to help her out. After all, thats what mothers are supposed to do, take care of there children even in the face of a hard situation. I dont think the granmother has motives, and the grandfather, well hes probably just upset because his little girl got knocked up, i mean I know my dad was upset with me, but its the girls fault, not her childs and he has to get past that. IT is never the childs fault it was created.

aochriss

replied on October 9th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

kyra,

First of all, it's not technically a child until its done being created, i.e. at birth. Secondly, if the future grandmother's motives are in the best interest of her daughter, then I am fine with that. It's just that I've seen too many crazy scenarios on the teen pregnancy forum where the future grandmothers were a little too happy about the teen's pregnancy.

Finally, just because someone is pro-choice doesn't mean they have to agree with every choice another person makes. It means we don't want to LEGALLY step in and force a person to do something against their will. I can think it's a horrible decision to carry a pregnancy and give birth when you're poor, uneducated and under 16 and the future father wants nothing to do with you or the impending child. That doesn't mean I'm not pro-choice anymore. I'd have to want to pass a law forcing girls that are under 16, poor, uneducated, with no husband or committed partner, to abort a pregnancy to make me not pro-choice any more.

NeutralUsername

replied on October 9th, 2008

Active User, very eHealthy

aochriss wrote:

NUN, the question of the thread is about the true motivations of the future grandmother.

Does it matter? What if the 19 year old WANTS to keep the pregnancy? No where did it say she even thought about abortion.

So, why is it okay for the father to want her to "get rid of it" but not okay for the mother to want her to keep it?

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