Alright back in 05 when I wasn't saved me and my ex would have sex sometimes. Well I got this fear that I had HIV (which I don't) I smoked meth everyday. I got paranoid and told everybody I gave her HIV. She even believed me. I called the cops after walking around OKC for a whole day. I told them I gave a Girl HIV. You can imagen there response. Then I told then I wasn't sure I was going thru a psychotic break from this, and I asked them could they take me to the nearest hostpital. He did. So I could get checked. I got paranoid of the results so I made a scene. I could here the T.V. in the lobby say are you ready to die. And I freaked so much that the officer had to come back and arrest me. On a charge of running a stop sign and not paying the ticket. I go to one of the worst jails in America. I'm up in the psych ward. I see things I fear I'm going to be excuted. I get out after four days and me and my roommate go to the club I was working at. He was a big time drug dealer and I asked for the XTC. I ate five wanting to kill myself. Then I wander to the store and I thought everybody where cannibals. I wanted to end it. I was just waiting for the pills to fully kick in. Well as they start I start to get even more delusional and I try to pry myself into the back room where they keep all the stock items. They call the cops again the same day I get out. One beats me up and throws me into his unit. Where flying to the jail and they asked me how many did I take I said 5 and they threw me on the ground gave me a cavity search when at the time I thought they where rapping me. Pick me up throw me into a sretcher. This is when I got the scariest. Everybody looked like zombies and I thought they where going to chop me up. After kicking and screaming they shoot me up in both forarms with something and I guess either it was a benzo or all the kicking and screaming knocked me out. Then I wake up in detox. Wait for my ride and go home. Then the next day my roommate had this evil look on him and I said I just want to go to my ex's house. He takes me and when I get there my ex's voice changes and I start freaking think she was trying to poison me. I walk down the streets and she's behind me concerned bless her heart but also angry that I was acting so weird. Well about a 3rd a mile another cop comes and arrests me. This is the third time in three day besides the strech I had in OKC that I get arrested. I get arrested for public detox. I go home the next day. I invite Anna my ex over as I'm still out of my mind and I explained to her that I cheated on her and that I think she has HIV. I start to panic and she goes home. Then I really get confused and think zombies and cannibals where after me. I go to this house that had red and blue lights on it. For some reason I thought they where cops so I broke there window to get there attention, and I sit there thinking they where going to help me and they call the cops and the cops arrested me for breaking and entering. Well by this point I had lost it. saw demons, Evil faces heard things had the worst nightmares. Everything that they say comes with a psychosis. but I believe there was more to it then loosing it. I was all green like a zombie for like three weeks. I stayed in there for 2 months cos I didn't even know how to use the phone. I wouldn't talk to anyone and when I finally got out after about three months from going to the psych ward and getting on Abilify I was back to some what normal but as for any body my life changed forever. I knew something wasn't right. My GF at the time broke up with me. It was a humbling experience all the way around. I felt a sense of demonic forces enraged at me. I started using drugs again and about 9 months later the delusions started again but I had a conviction this time of Christs second coming. I repeneted I said Lord I want to be apart of your word I want to know you that badly. And ever since then I've been in the loving hands of the Father. Talk about one hard headed person lol. I still deal with voices that will never fo away and the trauma of those events have scarred me for this life. But I love How God humbled me so much just to get me to see that He cares for me. And thats my Testamony.
Do you guys think I have PTSD from this event this is why I keep having nightmares that make me wake up anxious and paranoid?