does hewant to stay friends or are we dating?

I have come to conclude that they have a much harder time knowing what they really want at any given time.

With a mentally healthy person, there is a balance between "true" desires (things that are held onto for a long time) and transitory ones. Sometimes people give into the impulses, especially if their judgement is impaired (they are angry, drunk, high, et cetera), but most of the time, they are able to rationally consider the consequences to their long term desires, for instance:

I would really like to have sex with that hot girl right now, but I really want the relationship with my girlfriend to work out.

I really want to go out and party with my friends, but I have to start work early tomorrow and I still have not finished my TPS report.


At least in my experience, people with bipolar disorder seem to have a harder time than most people separating transitory desires from "true" desires. At least, for a healthy person, we will often be able to rationalize that we are currently: angry, drunk, tired, et cetera and realize our judgement might be adversely affected. People with the disorder often have diminished ability to see how it is affecting them and see their transitory desires as normal. I imagine it might be how a healthy person would behave if they randomly went through periods of being drunk or high on various mind-altering substances without knowing when those periods might happen.

You would think that as someone who has dealt with the disorder for a while, that she would be able to rationalize, "hey, I have wanted [x] for many months, so this sudden change is probably due to the disorder, so I should give myself a few months before I make any decisions," but no, she is more likely to rationalize how her feelings are "normal" and not due to the disorder.

She wanted to get married for well over a year, but in a matter of days she decided to break off the engagement.

She has told me how much she loved me for two years, but suddenly she will not even speak to me.

ok thanks for the advice now i understand him better