My husband has a 7 year old daughter from previous marriage. They have joint custody w/ her mother having primary residence. We had her all June for visitation and during this time we discovered that her mother doesn't bathe her as she should (maybe once a week) nor did she know how to properly bathe herself. She usually can't tell you the last time she's had a bath when she comes to visit us. She has recently also started going to the bathroom in her pants and last night her mom called us to ask if we had any problems while she visited and that she had spanked her to the point of tears and forced her to sit on the toilet for 30 mins for doing so. We had encouraged cleanliness and congrats on making it a whole day with no accidents. When we call to talk to his daughter his ex intentionally doesn't answer the phone nor call us back. Their divorce was due to her infidelity (whom this person is now her live in boyfriend) and has neglected my step-daughter on multiple occasions (i.e. long day at pool w/ no sunblock, not hydrating and missing school due to stomach problems). She has a past history of marijuana and harder drugs (which when we dropped off my step daughter last weekend she looked like she just finished a multi-day binge).

His ex's live in boyfriend has a child and when he visits my step daughter is told to give her room to him and she is to sleep on the couch. My husbands ex also has a child from previous marriage whom she gave up her custody of for whatever reasons. Can anyone provide insite on whether we have a chance at getting custoday? Sole custody would be great, but ultimately we are ok w/ joint custody w/ us being the primary resident. I also have a 9 year old son whom she adores and loves to play with where as at her moms it is just her.