I'm 27; I'm a psychiatric patient, I take Lamotrigine (100 mg daily in the morning), Sertraline (50 mg daily in the morning) and 3 drops of rivotril in the morning and 3 drops in the night. One of my psychiatrists recommended treating me with risperidone, but my other psychiatrist decided not for the moment.
When I was a kid, I used to have an IQ of 160, and nowadays is 112.
I've been diagnosed with the next issues (among others):
A brain injury in the left fronto-temporal lobe.
Epyleptic focus that generates paroxysms with consecuense of depressive events.
Loss of cerebral mass volume.
The origin of the brain damage can't be stated, nor the time when it was caused, but it's supposed to have been caused maybe in the very moment of birth.
I've been reading about schizophrenia, and I wanted to ask if you think that I'm a schizophrenic:
To be diagnosed with schizophrenia, three diagnostic criteria must be met:
1. Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
* Delusions --- NEVER
* Hallucinations ---- NEVER
* Disorganized speech, which is a manifestation of formal thought disorder --- YES (I can talk for hours, I speak about one subject, and I begin to talk 100 different subjects, I talk about the details of the details..., I have difficult to choose words, I forget words, and I can't pronunciate sometimes the words, as if my tongue was a knot)
* Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior --- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
* Negative symptomsâaffective flattening (lack or decline in emotional response) --- YES, I DON'T FEEL THAT I REALLY CAN LOVE ANY PERSON IN THIS WORLD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE COULD BE, alogia (lack or decline in speech) -- YES, SOMETIMES I TRY TO SPEAK AND IT SEEMS AS IF I WERE VERY DOPED, BUT I'M NOT, or avolition (lack or decline in motivation) ---- YES, I'VE ABBANDONED ABSOLUTE ALL MY LIFE, AND I DON'T HAVE MORE NOTHING THAT I WANT TO DO... I ONLY WAIT THAT MY PARENTS DIE TO DIE WITH THEM.
2. Social/occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset. ---- I LEFT MY JOB, MY SCHOOL AND I DON'T GO OUT MY HOME, BECAUSE I CAN'T SPEAK WITH PEOPLE, I'M AFRAID OF ANY PERSON I SEE IN THE STREET, AND EVEN MY FATHER AND MY BROTHER, I'M AGRESSIVE, I HAVE THE IDEA THAT I'M THE KING LOUIS XIV, OR THE EXECUTOR OF GOD'S WILL IN THE WORLD, ETC; SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE CHILD, AFRAID, THAT CAN NOT DO ANYTHING.
3. Duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
Schizophrenia cannot be diagnosed if symptoms of mood disorder or pervasive developmental disorder are present, or the symptoms are the direct result of a general medical condition or a substance, such as abuse of a drug or medication.
I ALSO HAVE SUICIDAL/HOMICIDAL TENDENCIES, I LIKE TO RUN OVER BIRDS WHEN I DRIVE MY CAR... I CAN'T HAVE NORMAL LOVE RELATIONSHIPS, I PREFER TO HAVE ANIMALS (I HAVE 2 GUINEA PIGS, 1 RABBIT AND 1 GERBIL); I DON'T LIKE SEX (I THINK IT'S DIRTY, AND BORING, BUT I'M NOT GAY AT ALL; NEVERTHELESS, SOMETIMES I HAVE THE IDEA THAT THE WOMEN ARE INTRUDERS IN THIS WORLD, WITH STRANGE DIFFERENT BODIES, AND I'M NOT KIDDING). WHEN I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, I TEND TO BELIEVE THAT THE GIRL IS ANOTHER GIRL (FOR EXAMPLE, I BEGAN TO LOVE A GIRL BECAUSE HE LOOKED ALIKE A BRAZILIAN SINGER CALLED: SANDY LEAH, AND FOR ME, THE WHOLE RELATION WAS WITH SANDY LEAH). I SUFFER A LOT WHEN I'M REJECTED, I WANT TO DIE... AND I DEPEND A LOT OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT ME.
SOMETIMES I WRITE AND WRITE NOTHING IN PARTICULAR, NONSENSE PHRASES, I FILL FULL BLANK SHEETS WITH WRITING IN RUSSIAN, ARABIC, OR STRANGE THINGS.
I CAN'T REMEMBER 95% OF MY CHILDHOOD AND MY ADOLESCENCE... AND ALMOST NOTHING OF MY ACTUAL LIFE...
I fear of asking my psychiatrist, because they preach me, they believe that I "want" to suffer a mental disease... course not... it's only curiosity, I can't live like this!
Maybe you should need know that I like very much minor girls from 12 to 17 years old... before those ages I find them disgusting... I've never harmed a girl, I only watch them from a prudent distance, and I don't see them with a sexual desire, but as if I were of their age... and I've already told you that I think that sex is disgusting.