long and hard relationship. i'm the only friend he has left. he's making it look like i'm the instigator of a really abusive relationship. he's my first relationship and i've always had plenty of friends.... never these kinds of problems.
he's grabbed and shoved me, told me demons were taking over my mind - typically crazy person stuff.... i've gotten scared enough and mad enough to slap him or hit back. he says when he calls me names (health forum/problem/stupid etc) it's for my own good, i deserve it, and he hasn't been mean enough to me for the stupid way i've been acting. i mean, true, people have always been so kind and taken me under their wings for most of my life once i left home and any criticism was always very loving and constructive. he says i need to be told what i'm doing wrong in a "not-sugar coated way" and that he's the only one who truly loves me.
my confidence level has dropped so much, i've lost a lot of interest in life, i had a bad period of just doing whatever it was he needed to be happy because he'd make me suffer when i didn't throw him money, buy him stuff.... i know he has invented a lot of weird stuff in his head (and that doesn't help that he detects i feel that way. it makes him think i don't believe him, but i give him much more credit than i would give anyone else in the same situation.) my thoughts are cluttered, but i really really want him to be okay. he tells me stories about ex's and his father that "really wanted him to be okay.....because they wanted to possess him n rape him" .... i'm just a stupid girl in my first relationship. i want out, but i'm in love for the first time. he makes it seem like i just care about him to destroy him. what do i do when i feel like i've been walking on eggshells but been told i've been just stomping all over someone carelessly? -he even says "you don't know you're doing it, because you're so naive, but you are."
i'm actually usually a logical functional (mostly) human being that many people have come to ME for strength and encouragement and i've been told i'm smart about it. but in my own situation, i can't even live life now i'm so confused about my purpose.
do i need therapy. did i destroy someone's life.
