Ok.i dont really know how to start..im 15 yrs old and my entire life i've NEVER felt worth it..my mom always used to compare me to my friends and i think that got to me..cuz she was always telling my how irresponsible and all that i was..and how perfect they were..she would always tell me to be like them..this never really bothered me till my teen years where i started getting acne and pimples. Again this never really bothered me till i was in probably the 10th grade or something where everyone else around you seems to be getting prettier by the day..i HATE showing my face to anyone cuz its so disgusting and ugly! :/
another thing i hate about myself is that im so useless. like im not good at anything ! And of course i have such AMAZINGLY talented friends who are soo talented and out-going and stuff while im just plain introverted. Its weird..its like i have this URGE to b loved and wanted and needed or something but its like no one in the entire world can give it to me because i dunno.. Somehow even if 10 people tell me i look good even if ONE person says i look bad i get soo depressed and i feel like killing myself. I have this weird thing for attention as well. Its like i want it REALLY REALLY REALLY bad..but once i DO get it..its like i cant handle it or something..:/ Im very much a loner..like i LOVE being alone and stuff..i've never really felt lonely but sometimes i feel like theres this hole in my chest which is just growing day by day...i cant think of anything to say as of now..
Usually i start feeling super pissed and irritated and depressed with myself when i go to Facebook and see that all my friends have like 100 likes or whatever for their pictures and i dont..and they have like this fan following or whatever. i know its something silly but whenever i see all that i feel like i'll never have any of that..and im just this useless piece of nothing who doesn't deserve to live.