I have been married for 5 years to a women with bipolar. I have 4 kids and I can't take the yelling or her putting me down and not being able to tell me how she feels. we are getting divorced. my only worry is the kids. what should I do.
Ideally, the best thing to do would be for her to get treated and for both of you to go to marriage counseling. That might not be realistic though, because many people with bipolar disorder refuse to believe they are ill.
Divorce due to the disorder is unfortunate, but not surprising. Over 90% of relationships involving bipolar disorder end in divorce. I would hypothesize that the other 10% involve partners who are very patient with each other and committed to treating the disorder.
Pretty much any reasonable chance of success is predicated on successfully treating her illness. Ultimately, she needs to know that either she accepts treatment or you are going to leave. You don't have to be harsh or phrase it that way, but things are very unlikely to get better so long as there are relationship problems caused by an untreated mental illness.
Even with treatment, things would not be easy, but at least there would be a good chance that things might get better.
Considering what I have read on here, I think it was somewhat a blessing in disguise that things fell apart before we could get married. These relationships are really tough in the best of circumstances and invariably fall apart in the worst of circumstances (when the sick partner refuses to consider treatment).