I can't say I have ever been happy about my family and the way it operates.
Basically I'm an only child (with 2 much older half-brothers from my dad's previous marriage) and I live at home with my parents. I actually don't have that much longer here as I'm off to university in five months, but it still bugs me, this sad feeling I get whenever I consider my family life.
My main issue is I've never really had a good loving relationship with my dad. He's always been kind of distant, and acts and talks as if he just doesn't care. When I was little he wouldn't play games with me or help me with things when I needed him. If my mum wasn't there I usually had to manage by myself. One time when I was little I fell over and cut my knee outside our house; my dad saw me through the front door but instead of drying my eyes and wiping up the blood, he shut the door on me. And if I ever touched him I felt he would be pulling away, as if I was dirty or dangerous or something.
Anyway now I'm 19 and still struggling with this issue. I feel like I don't have a strong male role model in my life as dad has never provided me with any kind of emotional support or guidance. Sometimes I feel like he's the child and I'm the adult though. He has an alcohol dependency problem that has always been a bone of contention in the family. It upsets my mum as much as me. Every evening it's the same ritual for him; he just goes into his office or his workshop, gets drunk in secret, comes out, eats his dinner in a separate room to us, drinks some more and then falls asleep. I guess it wouldn't be quite so depressing if he had a really tiring stressful job, or if he actually spent time with us during the daytime etc. But he never interacts with me if he can avoid it, and he seems happy enough to completely ignore my mum most of the time and let her just clean up the mess he makes around the house.
Anyway, I can't help but wish I had a much stronger closer family unit. And I really desperately want a proper dad who's protective and understanding but I don't think that's possible. I feel like I'm living with a stranger almost.