Came across pictures my husband took with a beautiful Thai girl (for keepsake!!??!) and was devastated when I found out she was engaged through a local escort agency offering massages and special services. He finally admitted he did that foolish act during my first trimester and said he had his needs, didn't know what went through his mind when it happened.
He says it was that just ONE time, he is guilty and remorseful but I just think this is plain rubbish because he had clearly not shown that throughout my pregnancy. If he was indeed feeling guilty, he sure was hiding it very well! I now blame myself for not giving in to his needs in my first trimester or thereafter.
Since the birth of my beautiful daughter, he has been a hands on father, but the image kept replaying in my mind and I feel extremely disgusted when he comes near. He has breached my trust and I am finding it very hard to deal with this pain I'm facing. At this point, if I was single without a newborn I would have left him simply because I feel that once your trust has been breached, it's almost impossible to maintain the relationship you once enjoyed. I am able to forgive but I know deep down it'll be hard for me to forget being cheated upon so early in my pregnancy.
But with my little girl and he's such a doting father, I feel the resentment having to work really hard to keep this relationship when (a) he was the one who caused this mess and (b) he thinks men are built different from women, in his own words, "we do it without the emotional attachment."
So am I to accept his behaviour now and risk him doing it again but gets better at hiding his infidelity? Please help, I need some sound advice.
it's hard to maintain a good relationship without trust.. trust is in the same level as love.. im not sure what to say really.. ask urself.. do you see yourself forgiving and forgetting? or do u think that the pain he's caused was too much for u to bear and that the trust won't be there for a while.. plus he also did it while ur preggers with his kid..cheating alone is wrong.. how much more if ur pregnant.. in my opinion, it was so selfish of him to do that while u were dealing with ur pregnancy.. pregnancy can cause u so much changes emotionally and physically and it was just so selfish of him to make u more stressed.
so ya.. i think ull just have to ask urself.. are u staying with him because of your baby? i understand that if u do let go, it'll be harder for ur daughter than it wll be for u.. it is a hard decision.. or u can talk to him and tell him how u still feel disgusted of what he did.. see what he says..
The question you have to ask is can you forgive? Not forget. I know the bible says to forgive and forget..but I too have had problems with that. We are human and well woman are not made up this way. If you can forgive then you have to find some way to burn the image in your mind. He is a doting father? Are you saying if you were not married he would not be the same? I know the decision would be easier if you were single. I also understand your pain of how he could betray you at a special moment in your life and how he could take it for granted? It is a hard place to be in. Do you keep your family together and bridge the gap of trust, or do you stand by your values of marriage and forsake your husband as he forsake you? Although ones might have a similar story yours is your pain to deal with. Try counseling and try communicating with your husband. I too get disgusted when men claim "I did not have an emotional attachment". I just want to say well the dang attachment was there. I will be here if you need to talk? The sad thing is no matter how many advice comments you get you alone have to live with your choice. Do you love him enough to forgive his selfish act?