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Dildo use

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My wife has a vibrator/dildo that she enjoys both when she masturbates and during sex. Recently she asked me to penetrate her while the dildo was inserted too. She seemed to really enjoy, and I must admit I did too. Now she he has been saying that she is curious about larger dildos and even fisting. I'm pretty open about stuff so I'm not too concerned about doing new things, I just wondering if this is something that can be harmful, or permanently stretch her. Any advice would be helpful.
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replied March 6th, 2009
Community Volunteer
I would think that fisting would stretch her out....I am not familiar with dildos as we do not take any toys to bed and never have....But....

I feel that whatever turns lovers on is the way to go....That is as long as it does not harm one of them.....Sometimes the erotic charge and hunger in us women is beyond the beyond....I truly believe we are the blessed animals of the sexes.....

Do your thing and have fun......We sure do....

Caroline
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replied March 6th, 2009
Experienced User
It can be harmful if not done right. Be patiend and go sloooooowwwww. Use lots of lube. She will probably be the one to set the pace actually. No, she will not be permanently stretched. After a few days she will have bounced back. Kegals help too.

Its awesome that you and your wife are able to communicate your desires like this. Alot of ppl miss out on things they want to do or try because they fear their partners reaction.
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replied March 6th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Fisting can stretch the vagina...For all three of my children I had an Episiotomy....This my husband and I both spoke to the OB-GYN about prior to the births...He wanted me to stay tight and not get big in this area....Maybe that common joke of the man having to have a board across his butt to keep from falling in made an impression on him...It is common knowledge that a man loves a tight woman...It is more stimulating and erotic both for the man and woman....Saying this when I had my Hysterectomy and was surgically built back up, he again talked to the OB-GYN....Again he was told to make me tight.....He did and sexually it is great....To this day I am as I was when I was young....

I know of a woman who was fisted and ended up at the hospital...She was torn very bad....All women cannot take this invasion of their private parts...We are not all the same size!!!!!!!......If some women want it so be it....Me, I can talk about wanting it but I wouldn't....This would be the erotic me speaking...My husband would never do this to start....It is just the way that we are....
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replied March 9th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
i was also going to suggest kegals. The vagina is a miraculous muscle. I mean look at what it can do...anyways

Kegals are extremely effective in rebuilding and strengthening the muscles. She can get stretched out as much as she wants to. But she can also make her muscles strong enough to remain in place. Have her do 100 a day and she will always be as tight as she is now..if not tighter.

try all those things together. go slow and at any sign of pain tell her to relax or you can stop. never force anything. the only way she can get hurt is if you force it

good luck and have fun
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replied March 12th, 2009
Experienced User
CarolineEF wrote:
Fisting can stretch the vagina...For all three of my children I had an Episiotomy....This my husband and I both spoke to the OB-GYN about prior to the births...He wanted me to stay tight and not get big in this area....Maybe that common joke of the man having to have a board across his butt to keep from falling in made an impression on him...It is common knowledge that a man loves a tight woman...It is more stimulating and erotic both for the man and woman....Saying this when I had my Hysterectomy and was surgically built back up, he again talked to the OB-GYN....Again he was told to make me tight.....He did and sexually it is great....To this day I am as I was when I was young....

I know of a woman who was fisted and ended up at the hospital...She was torn very bad....All women cannot take this invasion of their private parts...We are not all the same size!!!!!!!......If some women want it so be it....Me, I can talk about wanting it but I wouldn't....This would be the erotic me speaking...My husband would never do this to start....It is just the way that we are....


I agree...an episiotomy does, in a way, help with keeping a woman tight. It creates scar tissue that doesn't stretch. It only does this at the opening of the vagina. The muscles inside the vagina are what they are. That's where kegals come in handy. All women are not the same size but all vaginas have the ability to stretch and contract to accomodate. It's frustrating that so many people emply that if a woman enjoys activity such as fisting that she is loose. Alot of times a woman that engages in activity like this is much more aware of how her parts work and is more in tune with her body and how to maintain it.

It's unfortunate that the one in one hundred thousand women who have been and do get fisted is the only one used for example. One bad story seems to cancel out the other ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine good ones. If there weren't women out there that liked this activity and werent harmed by it then it wouldnt be an issue or topic of discussion.

If fisting is something a woman is interested in I would suggest doing research and getting facts based on facts not opinion before going ahead with it. We all have our boundaries. Don't cross them but there is no harm in pushing them to explore the absolutes. I also agree that sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality but then again, sometimes the reality is so much more than the fantasy ever could have been.
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replied March 12th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Jinjer wrote:
CarolineEF wrote:
Fisting can stretch the vagina...For all three of my children I had an Episiotomy....This my husband and I both spoke to the OB-GYN about prior to the births...He wanted me to stay tight and not get big in this area....Maybe that common joke of the man having to have a board across his butt to keep from falling in made an impression on him...It is common knowledge that a man loves a tight woman...It is more stimulating and erotic both for the man and woman....Saying this when I had my Hysterectomy and was surgically built back up, he again talked to the OB-GYN....Again he was told to make me tight.....He did and sexually it is great....To this day I am as I was when I was young....

I know of a woman who was fisted and ended up at the hospital...She was torn very bad....All women cannot take this invasion of their private parts...We are not all the same size!!!!!!!......If some women want it so be it....Me, I can talk about wanting it but I wouldn't....This would be the erotic me speaking...My husband would never do this to start....It is just the way that we are....


I agree...an episiotomy does, in a way, help with keeping a woman tight. It creates scar tissue that doesn't stretch. It only does this at the opening of the vagina. The muscles inside the vagina are what they are. That's where kegals come in handy. All women are not the same size but all vaginas have the ability to stretch and contract to accomodate. It's frustrating that so many people emply that if a woman enjoys activity such as fisting that she is loose. Alot of times a woman that engages in activity like this is much more aware of how her parts work and is more in tune with her body and how to maintain it.

It's unfortunate that the one in one hundred thousand women who have been and do get fisted is the only one used for example. One bad story seems to cancel out the other ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine good ones. If there weren't women out there that liked this activity and werent harmed by it then it wouldnt be an issue or topic of discussion.

If fisting is something a woman is interested in I would suggest doing research and getting facts based on facts not opinion before going ahead with it. We all have our boundaries. Don't cross them but there is no harm in pushing them to explore the absolutes. I also agree that sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality but then again, sometimes the reality is so much more than the fantasy ever could have been.


As far as "fisting" I find it interesting that a woman would come on this site and so strongly push such a possibly dangerous sexual act....I would suggest women who are this daring to first just look at a few posts on this site:

http://ehealthforum.com/health/sexual-dysf unction-after-vaginal-repair-t154946.html

In the last few days I have been doing a lot of research on what can happen to a woman when she stretches...It still puzzles me why another woman would try and encourage her sister women to do this act...I am sure men would enjoy it....They are the one who benefits from this...

These are just my thoughts...
Caroline
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replied March 12th, 2009
Experienced User
CarolineEF wrote:


As far as "fisting" I find it interesting that a woman would come on this site and so strongly push such a possibly dangerous sexual act....I would suggest women who are this daring to first just look at a few posts on this site:

http://ehealthforum.com/health/sexual-dysf unction-after-vaginal-repair-t154946.html

In the last few days I have been doing a lot of research on what can happen to a woman when she stretches...It still puzzles me why another woman would try and encourage her sister women to do this act...I am sure men would enjoy it....They are the one who benefits from this...

These are just my thoughts...
Caroline


I am not pushing for it or against it. I simply think if someone is interested in it they should get both sides of the story instead of judgement and opinion. There are good stories as well as bad and both on the same subject.

as far as the link you provided... I dont see anywhere in any of those posts in that topic the word fisting. I do see alot about childbirth and damage to the pelvic region. Childbirth has got alot more going on than fisting and in most cases where damage occures during childbirth its because the muscle are ripped not stretched slowly to accomodate.

as you can see from another response from a man on the subject, its not just a man thing. Its not just for men and men are not the only ones that enjoy it. Most women that do dont speak up because of the people who are quick to state their opinion of how wrong they think it is.

just my thoughts...=)
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replied March 13th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
well i agree with you in many ways. I personally like a little aggression. Where the man is dominent over you. There is something primal about that, and it feels good when you are in the sacred place w/a man w/whom you are in love with and trust. This type of agression, sexual need, is healthy and welcome, to me at least.
Fisting may be a agressive, but I think its ultimately how the act is done and with who. There is the agressive type thats border line violence, and if you put that together w/fisting my visions are very scary and would not turn me on. But the act of your partner putting his fingers inside you and feeling all of you sounds mighty nice. The act of fisting between the 2 of us would be an act of love and passion. Not some dirty scene from a porno.

This was my reply in another topic I started on fisting. This is how I feel on the subject.

But arent we all a little animalistic? I mean its in our nature, our make up that God gave us. There is shame to only those that welcome it. To each his own right?

Now im going to check out that other post that talks about damages done from fisting. Im sure any damage done to a woman during any sexual act is due to neglect and carelessness of her and her partner.
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replied November 30th, 2010
fisting/stretching
I have been doing a lot of research here recently on the subject. I am a woman who is into the Submissive role play in the bedroom. My boyfriend and I both enjoy a lot of kinky and taboo things. Recently we have both become interested in stretching my vagina. I always wondered what it would feel like to be so filled up and used. We have tried fisting but it didn't work my body wouldn't not accommodate. I came alot though from what we could do. Recently he bought me a rather large dildo. Slightly bigger than a coke can. I have managed to use it with lots of lube and patience. Problem is he wants me to use it more. I have been scared of using it often and causing a permanent stretch. Everyone says Kegals will tighten things up or keep them tight. I would like to believe that but lets face it ladies none of us ever will be as tight as we were when we were virgins. I have found lots of opinions and different takes on this but as of yet I am not totally satisfied that it will stay loose or get back to normal. From experience occasional play has left no permanent damage. But I worry that frequent play will result in the breakdown of the muscle that is irreparable. My other half is convinced that if women have kids then this won't cause lasting damage. (yeah well it's my body) Either way I do enjoy it and really would like a better answer. If it will cause permanent stretch I would rather fight my urges and just have a longer happier sex life for many more years. If it won't I would love to indulge my dark side more.
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replied September 28th, 2012
Hi everyone, I am looking for advise. I am very concerned about my current size as my x-boyfriend has talked me into fisting and we have tried it a couple of times. Will I ever get back to my previous size, I'm desperate and very concerned. Thank you.
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