I've been anorexic for a little over a year now. I've put on weight somehow by not being quite so consumed in it, but i still do not eat hardly. I'm 17, 5'10 and was 120.6 last time i weighed myself, which was a week or so ago (have probably gained since i haven't been on top of it as much) i want to recover. i'm terrified of weight gain, but i know i need to do this. i also disgustingly picked up the "chew and spit" habit which i do usually late at night when im alone and bored and confused about whether or not i should recover. my question- how can i recover without putting on too much weight all at once? i've tricked the people i'm closest to into thinking i'm just a health nut, so if i gain they'll say triggering comments about it, thinking they're just helping by telling me i'm gaining. so i can't gain it all at once, as it will probably lead to a relapse. what's a diet plan for me to get back to where i used to be? (156 at my highest..i wasn't fat at all but i would hate to be at that number again..maybe 140? or 130...if not lower) and also how do i stop chewing and spitting?!?! it is an addiction! and it's disgusting!! help please? and i can't go see a doctor. i can't tell my parents. they'll be pissed and watch my every move and plus i don't want to ask them to spend all that extra money on top of college just because i'm scared to eat. seems a bit selfish and stupid, and 'm sure they would have to agree. lol sorry for rambling. got lots to say i guess!
Hi cammyclaire94. Firstly, you are not selfish or stupid. You are not well, you know this, that's why you're posting on here. You're not alone and you will always have people you can talk to on here. Would you feel guilty for catching flu or mono? This is another kind of illness, and you didn't ask for it. You should be proud of facing up to it!
Is there nobody close to you (if not your parents then a friend?) that you could confide in. If not you have support online too.
At least let the people around you, who think you're a health nut, know that you want to gain a little weight. If you're the health nut, you should know what a healthy weight is right? So when you do start recovering more then they will be able to congratulate you on reaching your goal.
Also, try and find somewhere you can chat to people who have recovered. I bet they will have the greatest insight into how you can get on top of things. Good luck, it sounds like you've already taken the hardest steps.