I was diagnosed with anorexia 5 months ago, Im 22 ...
I was diagnosed with anorexia 5 months ago, Im 22 and at my lowest was 43kilos. I have been in an outpatient program since being diagnosed. About three weeks ago I decided I want to eat whatever I want whenever I wanted to gain the weight. It freaked me out so I try to restrict again but I look at my son and I feel so undeserving and guilty and ashamed so I try to eat normally but whenever I eat (even if it's an apple) I feel so guilty and ashamed that I punish myself by binging on everything I labelled "bad". It been the last 3 weeks everyday. I can't stop the cycle and I am putting on weight rapidly and unhealthily. I want so much to go back to starving myself. I have resorted to taking laxatives to compensate. I don't want to tell my treatment team about my binging as I'm ashamed. Do I suffer from an eating disorder or do I simply lack self control? I feel so confused and alone, I'm scared. I feel sicker than ever.
Welcome to the forum. I am really glad to help you out. You do seem to suffer from an eating disorder and for the same you need to consult a psychiatrist.
This disorder is called anorexia nervosa, when a person eats too little to sustain oneself and this can result in a marked thinning of the body.
There's another disorder called bulimia nervosa in which a person tends to go in for induced vomitings to throw out everything one has eaten and it is usually due to the fear of weight gain and the associated guilt.
A psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist will be the right person to help you in the same. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care.
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