You need to see a psychiatrist now. Suicidal ideology (thoughts) should never be ignored. This is particularly true with how you feel about yourself. Go see a doctor and get some treatment for your depression. Life will take on a whole new outlook for you.

I don't think you're destined to be alone. My first relationship was when i was 18 with a complete loser I might add (I wish I'd never gone there)and then my first real true love I met when I was 20 then we broke up and got together again when I was 22. So you're not alone there.
I agree though with Antigone that you should go talk to a psychiatrist or a doctor.

velvetsky, I agree with antigone. You do need to go see a doctor. and, please take this piece of advice.

I am 28 as of the time I am writing this, only 9 years older than you are at the moment. My bought with depression and thoughts of ending my life began when I was about 16 years old. Like you, i thought the same things of my life. I felt i had no friends as well. It was 3 years later when I actually made the attempt.
i went to hospital and began seeing a psychiatrist. Now, fast forward 9 years later to now. I went from being what I thought was a worthless human being, into being a human being so to speak.
I have a wonderful job doing what I love doing, working on computers. I am loved by a very wonderful woman whom I am honored to call my wife. I am able to provide a good living for us. It was all acomplished through what my doctor taught me, Patience. All it truly takes is help, patience, and faith. Don't worry if you feel like you have no patience or you have no faith.
Get help first. Patience and faith are what develops from getting good help.

Yes i feel the same way alot, and i don't know where to turn for help other than my counselor at a clinic. we nee more support groups for people