Hi Melb,
I'm sorry that you're going through some rough times right now. Although we're not qualified to help counsel people officially, you can PM any Supporter that you see on the forum. I would feel more comfortable, however, if you contacted a professional association trained in psychology and counseling so that you talk to people who are TRAINED to help talk with others. Here are some hotline numbers that you can use.
1-800-969-6642 National Mental Health Association
1-800-999-9999 Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling
1-800-273-TALK National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-621-4000 National Adolescent Suicide Hotline