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16 & desperate for a baby. I need a family of my own...

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July 1st, 2012
Hiya so this is my situation,

I am 16 years old (17 in november.) I currently have finished my school career and I am now working 2 jobs I have also applied for college which I may start in september but I am still hesitant about enrolling. I have been in a stable relationship with my current boyfriend for the past two and a half years who is also working and starts college soon, I plan to marry him in the near future. (:
I have been on the pill for well over a year now minus a break that I took from it at the beginning of the year. During this break from my birth control I became pregnant and was overjoyed at the thought of being a mummy, I carried until I was 6 weeks pregnant and then traumatically miscarried. My world fell to pieces and I quickly returned back to the pill at the thought of another baby loss. (A cousin of mine has had several miscarriages and the thought of this happening to me is terrifying.) I still feel touchy about the subject of my loss, I hope you all understand.
However I feel that now is the time to try again, a fresh start. I have a loving and supporting family which is also a great bonus but I now feel that I need a family of my own, my partner however wants us to wait. I am so desperate for a baby of my own and thinking about my loss makes me realise that I would of been about 5 months gone right now. I don't know what to do, how do you know when the time is right? I feel like I don't have the life of a 16 year old already so what would I be missing out on as this is what most people refer to when they talk to you about waiting until you are a little older.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I really am confused about whether to start trying again or not and how can I make my partner feel the same way;
Many thanks girls for listening x
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Pmarie1964
replied July 2nd, 2012
I am so sorry you miscarried. I myself had a couple miscarriages and I know how devastating it is.

Please wait though. You are too young to try for a baby right now.i realize you are feeling such a loss, but you need to do more growing and maturing yourself before you become a mom. It would not be fair to your child as you are too young to handle such a responsibility and the stress on you and your family would be overbearing even if they are supportive. This would change everybody's lives and put such a burden on you all. In a few years when you are out of school and are able to support yourself you can bring a child into the world under much better circumstances!

You will not regret waiting, and your life as well as your baby's will be so much better for it!
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brittntc
replied July 3rd, 2012
Experienced User
I am sorry for your loss.

Its not for me or anyone else to tell you the right time to have a child.... But as a young parent myself I feel that it is important when making a decsion as to whether to have a baby or not that you think big picture and outside of your desires.

Think about what being a parent means to you. And what kind of things you as a parent would like to provide for a child... the basics should include a safe home, food, cloths, and most of all the love and attention of its parents...

You may be an exception, but the typical 16yr old does not have the means to provide those things for themeselves let alone a child. I know that you mentioned that you work two jobs... what kind of time willl you have to raise and support your child if you are working two jobs? Why would you consider having a child with someone that has already made it clear they are not ready to take on that responsiblity?

My adviced to you would be to focus on bettering yourself so that you can take care of the baby that you are longing for... skipping out on school to have a child would be detrimental to you and a baby at this point... what would you do? work minimum wage at McDonalds your whole life .... or live with your parents? what kind of example would that be?

I know... expecially following a loss the desire to fill that space in your heart can be overwelming... but the best and most loving thing that you can do for your future child is to make sure that you are the best parent you can be when he or she gets here... instead of satisfing your impulses now and you both having to pay for it later.

Good luck. Here if you need to talk.
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candyover
replied July 4th, 2012
miscarried once and it was heart breaking, ive been seeing this guy for 4 months and im basically in love with him, i no how you feel! stay positive
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Stages of Labor
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