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desire for teenage girls (Page 1)

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I am in my 30`s and I have very strong desires for teenage girls especially east asian teenagers. I have never been involved with a teenage girl in my adult life and find the idea of actually engaging in sexual activity with one abhorrant. Yet I find them very desirable. The guilt and shame I feel over my desires has on occasion led me to contemplate suicide. I live in fear of my desires being discovered and am so paranoid that I even worry that posting on this forum could lead to my being investigated by the police. For this same reason I cannot speak openly to anybody about my illness and feel totally alone. I even broke up with my last girlfriend because I was so scared of her discovering my secret. I don't consider myself to be a bad person and have no desire to hurt or interfere with a teenager, but I just cannot live like this anymore. I think it is very wrong to be attracted to very young girls but I don't know what to do. Am I really that sick?
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replied June 6th, 2009
no.
ur not sick. its the way you are and as long as you dont hurt anyone while you act like yourself, it doesnt matter.
just like how being gay, or having different fetish's isnt sick, neither is pedophillia.

but if you act on your intentions there is where its wrong. masturbating to them is fine, but having sex with them isn't. they're not old enough to make desicions like sex.

dont be ashamed, screw what other people think. its not like u can help it. keep a low profile on your comp if ur looking at things cus even the people that like you right now wouldnt like you if you came out and told people. being gay is socially accepted now but people aren't perfect and cant understand that their being hippocrites even if they read this comment im writing.

people that are open minded will accept it but in reality theres an extreme shortage of these rare peoples called "open minded".

dont forget its not like you ONLY like teens.
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replied June 6th, 2009
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If you have such strong feelings that you have contemplated suicide and you ended a relationship because of it, I think you have a serious problem. I have to disagree with billybob1212 who said that there was nothing wrong with fantasizing/ masturbating to the idea of being with a teen. I think this would only feed your obsession with them and could eventually lead to you acting on your desire for them. I think you need to find a therapist who can help you work through these feelings.
It's wonderful that you recognize that this is a problem and have still managed to keep it in check. However, I think it is apparent that this is becoming more than you can handle on your own.
Good luck in finding someone to help you deal with this problem.
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Users who thank deteragram for this post: JavaMissus 

replied June 6th, 2009
Community Volunteer
I agree with deteragram...Get some help...It could very easily get bigger than you are....You made this post for one reason...You are pleading for help...We are all answering you....Now it is up to you to listen to our advice....Get some help!!!!!!....

Good luck my friend...You are talking about some Mother's daughter....Don't take a chance of your being sorry and a life being destroyed....

Caroline
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replied June 7th, 2009
maybe find a hobby that would take ur mind off of them
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replied June 7th, 2009
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Please seek help. You have a sex addiction problem that probably is also fueled by pornography? You are seeking help so it is up to you to take the necessary measurements. Masturbation is NOT fine! It most definitely will just feed your obsession. I agree with deteragram.
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replied June 9th, 2009
Supporter
From someone who was abused as a child-get yourself help! You think you are only thinking about it--sooner or later you will move on those thoughts and fantasy will become action..I personally would make sure you went to jail for a very very very long time..You see you need help get it before you hurt someone..
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replied June 12th, 2009
i agree it is deffinately something you need to deal with. it is good u realize that you have a problem, and i can understand haveing some fetishes like that. first off there is nothing wrong with being attracted to a specific race in my opinion ( although i think it a bit unhealthy if that is all you desire ever) i have dated severl east asian girls myself and find them charming. also realize there is nothing wrong with recognizing a young good looking girl can be attractive. it is true just because your 25 yrs older or so there i feel it is normal to find a girl attractive who you once would have tried for when you are younger. one thing i personally reccomend is starting to be ok with yourself obviously you are not a horrible person you have not been acting on this desire, and you realize there can be some problems with it. try by starting off with when you see a teanage girl you are attracted to imagine that once she is a few years older she will be even more beautifull. i really think once we as people start getting these "deep dark secrets" they often become worse when we start getting guilt ridden about them because once we start fearing them coming up they are on our mind more and start creeping back into our thoughts more because we feel bad about them then it deepens as our self respect goes down, we feel as if we are deeper in it. just understand its ok to find them attractive but its not ok to do anything untill they are old enough to make chocies for themselves and immagine how nice it will be once they have matured a bit and u can have them! part of it is just convincing yourself that hey i would be happy with this. its like this well i like asian and young well maybe settle for just tryin an asian girl ( and by girl i mean of legal age of course hopefully somewhere near your own) at least at that point u can satisfy part of your desires and you may find it more than suffices! and also think about the fact that being attracted to young girls is making you feel dirty just think how bad your would feel if you actually did something it would never be worth it, on the other had a mid 20s cute asian girl might be just what u need to make u realize well that young one might me desireable but this mid 20s girl i can be with and be happy with myself all around satisfied! i think as you become more ok with yourself these desires and guilt will also begin to dwindle. at least that was the case for me good luck with this problem and i hope this helps
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replied June 18th, 2009
Look i am a 13 year old girl and i do have men or older boys look at me alot , and i do find it wierd . its just like that sometimes i fall for way older boys or even MEN! , it doesnt mean you are sick! otherwise so am i .
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replied June 18th, 2009
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sweetiebabi, no one expects a thirteen year old to have the maturity and respect for boundaries that an adult has. Any MAN that you show an interest in is obligated to steer clear of you. It is illegal for him to become sexually involved with you as well as morally wrong.
I sincerely hope that you are not having sex with any of these men that you fall for. Even if you are not in a physical relationship, the maturity level and emotions of a young girl are much too fragile and precious to be wasted on an older man.
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replied June 24th, 2009
Relax....Everybody wants what they can't have, it's normal.
However if find yourself overwhelmingly wanting a teen and/or taking steps to get one you may want to seek help.
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replied July 14th, 2009
I should have made myself clear when I said "teenager". I do NOT have any interest in girls as young as 13, and I never said that I did. I was refering to girls between 16 and 19. That may seem a little less serious to some of you but I am deeply religious and this sin hurts me more than it may others. I have no desire to act on my thoughts and would reiterate that they are just thoughts. I am looking to my religion for guidance, and while thanking many of you for trying to understand I would also remind those who have been judgemental that they know nothing about me at all. I accept that I should have been more clear about the age of the girls in question, and I apologise for being misleading. I`m afraid I lied about my age, I'm actually 26.
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replied July 14th, 2009
Is it me well i cant see anything wrong with this your only 26 and the girls in question are above the legal age i understand the religion bit i lived in cyprus for 5 years so understand how religion plays a part in people's life i have only one thing i can say...
"only god can judge me!"
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replied August 16th, 2009
Orite i am just satying my opinion , and uh if you are having feelings for girls between 16-19 then you may have 2 talk 2 someone . AND STAY OUT DETERGRAM!!!! YOU DONT KNOW !!!!
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replied August 16th, 2009
As long as you havent hurt anyone at the moment there is no reason why you can not seek help about this. Go and see someone about this a doctor/psychiatrist (i dont know how to spell) they will help you, dont be ashamed its not your fault, go and seek help and lvie happily you can cure this easily with some councilling or something dont be ashamed you are who you are for a reason, and never think about commiting suicide that will not solve ANYTHING! You have done nothing wrong go seek help Smile
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replied August 16th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
It is incredibly incredibly normal for an adult male to have an attraction to a teenage girl. Children are constantly sexualized in your society and men are visually responsive. You are doing what you were designed to do. You recognize that this behavior is inexcusable. As long as you don't find yourself imagining that there could be any kind of positive outcome from sex with a minor then you're not in danger of engaging in this activity. It is not a crime in any part of the world to think about doing something against the law, however, in many parts of the world showing intent to have sex with a minor is tried the same as having sex with a minor. If there is any evidence that you are attracted to minors be extremely cautious about your behavior around them and avoid situations that may look inappropriate. Lastly there is no cure to a natural arousal response, however it is a great idea to get professional medical help in dealing with these feelings of arousal.
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replied August 19th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Besides not being normal, I believe it is far deeper than this....I believe as the adult male ages that he needs more stimulation...Often he does not get what he needs...Because of this he goes to the youth in life...He is getting old and an older woman very often does not turn him on...He needs this to get an erection...He must feel like a stud...Her sexual parts are no longer enticing....He prefers the innocence of life...Perhaps this is tied in with the aging man not being able to be potent as he used to...He needs the sexual stimulation of a woman to keep him at this place in life....Perhaps the original poster prefers the Asian girls as this is who he has seen naked or in Porn...The fact in life that the older woman seldom goes after the younger men does prove this point...She is already sexually stimulated within and need no help...However, IMO, the older man very often finds his sexual hunger in younger girls and Porn is his happy hunting grounds......
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replied August 19th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
It's actually pretty common for women to be sexually attracted to young men too, much less often teens but young men regardless. Youth is just part of the definition of beauty for some people.
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replied August 19th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Woman would prefer men around their age, however, most men cannot perform as they age thus they may accept younger men for this reason...Women get hotter and more experienced as they age...Many younger men prefer them because of this...They know sex and are completely uninhibited....They have reached their eclipse in life...

To me youth is the definition of youth...Middle age of middle age and older age means knowledge...It is how you approach this place in life and act in it that counts...

I stick by what I have said...Men who cannot hack it go this route in life...And may I add, that I do not consider this normal....When someone says that it is incredibly normal, to me it could influence the thinking of this person to a higher level of sexual want...when instead it should be contained...
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replied August 19th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Every sexual want that can harm another should be controlled no matter how commonplace it may be. hughes1970 seems more aware of this than you or I. I don't see any call to turn his concerns into a sexist statement about men having a frailty you imagine women do not.
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