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Describe your good relationship.

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I just thought this might be a little fun and also a little helpful to some.
Tell us what you have in your relationship that makes you have a solid relationship. If you're not in one. what is it you think makes a good relationship or what it is you want...
Also, make sure to state whether you are in a relationship or not.
This is actually for my benefit so any answers would be appreciated.. 4you
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replied February 28th, 2009
A good relationship?
Well... personally, I've had a bad relationship that ended in divorce and am now in a wonderful relationship. I have always been a firm believer that "it's not what you're doing, but who you're with". Of course, a good relationship does not just happen... it is hard work. I think one thing that breaks down a marriage is when people get together with same sex friends and wife or husband-beat them verbally. For instance, when one girl is unhappy in her relationship, and gets with a group of girls, the conversation quite often involves her complaining about what her husband does or does not do, and pretty soon, everyone chimes in to report what ticks them off about their spouse. Then they go home and start to "judge" their spouses according to what was complained about with their girlfriends. Then the list against their spouses keeps adding up and up, and after a while you (and unknowingly your friends) condemn their spouses and stop forgiving them for things which you were fine with at the beginning because you loved him.

Another rule I truly believe in... always be up front and HONEST with your spouse. Right at the outset of my present marriage, I told my man when we were dating, that I was still friends with my ex... but definitely not sexually or as a husband. I stressed that if he was in any way uncomfortable with that, that I would end my friendship with my ex immediately because he meant more to me. We are now both good friends with my ex and his new wife.

Really...I could go on and on... so better stop now... hahahahaha
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Users who thank healthstuff for this post: harmony1 

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replied March 1st, 2009
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Honesty and respect then.
I agree whinging to others is not helpful.Something I admit to doing. To my amazement men do it too!! then a whole lot of other peoples opinions come into the relationship.
Something I need to work on..
Thanks for your input. SmileSmileSmile

What about this.(for anyone that's willing to answer)
Do you need to do things socially with your partner?? What if you don't. Can it still work??
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replied March 2nd, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Wow thank you so much for this. I have been sharing my views and issues about my hubby too and I have never been so confused in my life. You realize that you and him are the only ones that really know whats going on. Its damaging to start getting 5 different views on things...pretty soon you dont know whats real

My relationship is starting over now. My hubby and I seperated for about 2 months.

So from this point the most solid thing we have is unconditional love,dedication,and forgiveness. But our faith in the Lord is whats keeping us together. Complete and utter faith that we are meant to walk this life together.
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Users who thank Rosie H for this post: harmony1  Fairy Godmother 

replied March 3rd, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
i think my boyfriend and i have a pretty good relationship. and i think what makes it a good one, is that we are open with one another, we tell each other whats on our mind and fight sometimes too[not everyday].
i think having a fight once in a while is a good thing because it releases that frustration that is building in your body, and shows that your really not afraid to say how you feel.
we always resolve a conflict that we have, and we learn from one an other too.

i also feel that what makes our relationship a good one is that we're not afraid to show who we really are, and we accept each other for how we are. if you have to change the way you are to please another person, they are not worth being with you. they should accept you as you come rather than change you.
my boyfriend accepts me the way i am, and i accrpt him.
we have time apart, he sees his friends, i see my parents with our son or see my best friend for a movie or dinner[without the baby]
and we see friends together and enjoy doing pretty much the same things and activities.
we do things together and apart to have space and not be too clingy. i think it makes our relationship that much stronger and healthier.

we are honest and up front.
and we do things as a team with our new family.
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Users who thank ProudMommyof2008 for this post: harmony1 

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replied March 3rd, 2009
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Rosie H wrote:
Wow thank you so much for this. I have been sharing my views and issues about my hubby too and I have never been so confused in my life. You realize that you and him are the only ones that really know whats going on. Its damaging to start getting 5 different views on things...pretty soon you dont know whats real

My relationship is starting over now. My hubby and I seperated for about 2 months.

So from this point the most solid thing we have is unconditional love,dedication,and forgiveness. But our faith in the Lord is whats keeping us together. Complete and utter faith that we are meant to walk this life together.



Sounds like you have a lot of strengths in your relationship and it's nice that you share your faith as well.
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replied March 3rd, 2009
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ProudMommyof2008 wrote:
i think my boyfriend and i have a pretty good relationship. and i think what makes it a good one, is that we are open with one another, we tell each other whats on our mind and fight sometimes too[not everyday].
i think having a fight once in a while is a good thing because it releases that frustration that is building in your body, and shows that your really not afraid to say how you feel.
we always resolve a conflict that we have, and we learn from one an other too.

i also feel that what makes our relationship a good one is that we're not afraid to show who we really are, and we accept each other for how we are. if you have to change the way you are to please another person, they are not worth being with you. they should accept you as you come rather than change you.
my boyfriend accepts me the way i am, and i accrpt him.
we have time apart, he sees his friends, i see my parents with our son or see my best friend for a movie or dinner[without the baby]
and we see friends together and enjoy doing pretty much the same things and activities.
we do things together and apart to have space and not be too clingy. i think it makes our relationship that much stronger and healthier.

we are honest and up front.
and we do things as a team with our new family.


wow. sounds like you have it all!!Smile
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replied March 4th, 2009
Community Volunteer
I guess the most honest thing I could say would be that we are so alike....He was a jock and I love sports....We both like all the same things....We did all sports together...I am not too much into Westerns, but I will watch them for him....I have never forced him to do something that he did not want to do....Nor has he done this to me....The simple fact of life is that we were made for each other....Stamped "taken" when the husbands and wives were doled out from the maker above.....

George Clooney starred in the movie "The Perfect Storm"......Without a doubt we would be called "the perfect match"....

I love him more than my life.....

Caroline
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replied March 4th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
caroline that sounds like me and my boyfriend.
we like the same things, enjoy doing things together, and both rather play sports rather than watch them, and he loves westerns just like his dad, and i really dont mind watching them, i end up enjoying them in the end!
we never force each other to do something we dont want to do.
and in a way, he has helped me push myself farther to do some things i would have never thought of doing!

we're a great team and match, and i really feel like fate brought us together.
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replied March 4th, 2009
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ProudMommyof2008 wrote:
caroline that sounds like me and my boyfriend.
we like the same things, enjoy doing things together, and both rather play sports rather than watch them, and he loves westerns just like his dad, and i really dont mind watching them, i end up enjoying them in the end!
we never force each other to do something we dont want to do.
and in a way, he has helped me push myself farther to do some things i would have never thought of doing!

we're a great team and match, and i really feel like fate brought us together.


Isn't it interesting how if you love someone that you would climb a mountain with them as long as they held your hand....I am deathly afraid of heights....I mean I will fly when I grow wings....While we were at Vail about ten years ago my husband wanted to take the ski lift to the top....I knew he wanted to so I, like the fool I can be, said I will go with him....Going up the mountain he showed me the sign in the gondola that seated 4, but there was only two of us....It said, in severe wind or if this stops that another gondola from above would come and rescue us....I never thought of this when I got in it....I freaked out and went to the bottom of the thing and sat there until we reached the top....Then I wanted to walk down the mountain which would have taken hours.....Finally, he got me down by the gondola...What really got me was an airplane, a big airplane, flying over so close to us....Now let's face it, this is love....

I am far too daring, but oh what a life it has been......I am happy to find another woman that doesn't know the word "I can't".....Makes for a heck of a life...

Caroline
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replied March 4th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
it definately does!
i feel that if you put all your trust, love heart and soul into another person, that you can do anything together and over come all the hardships, even the big things that you would have never dared to do if you were by yourself!

its a great feeling, i feel like i would have missed out on so much if i never met my boyfriend, he has in a way, shown me the world.
it sounds corney, but i really feel like he has.
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replied March 4th, 2009
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Opened your eyes wider to life....Makes a "I can't" a maybe and last but not least, put you so high on a pedestal that you can almost reach the sky.....

Hey girl, welcome to my world....xox
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replied March 4th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
Smile

its a great feeling Smile
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replied March 4th, 2009
Mine works because we understand each other, especially the whole bi-polar crazy part. We share like ideas and feels on the big stuff (budgets, not having kids, and religion) and but have very different interests in the small things (hobbies, music taste and movies) to keep thing interesting. We connect in a way only two soul mates can, I guess that's why my husband's and mine relationship works.
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replied May 22nd, 2009
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im in a relationship of 2 years. he is 51, and i am 32.
-he is the best b/f i've ever had and i will never forget him.
-his eyes widens, and his mouth opens when i wear something sexy.
-i can talk his ear off w/o him complaining.
-he's supportive and positive
-he is loving, romantice, sensitive, kind hearted, and he likes to laugh, doesnt like to argue.
-our love life is dynamite, we have great chemistry.
-i sing to him on his cell phone.
-i still feel like time stops when im around him.
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Users who thank starship33 for this post: Fairy Godmother 

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replied June 10th, 2009
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We have a large country style plaque over our bed it reads (Kiss me before going to sleep) and we do..We never go to bed angry..He helps me with chores and we almost always get groceries together..No matter where I want to go he says lets go..He knows I have a hard tme with food and always makes sure that whereever we eat out it is a place that has foods I can do..
I give him massages (special) ones..I recieved a massagae table for birthday last year and it has been in good use sense..
We hold hands, we kiss and even play footsies when out..We have been married 39 years and still smile, say good morning and hug every day,evening night..
The only thing I would change is if I could freeze time and keep him in my arms when we are having our special time together..
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replied June 13th, 2009
My husband David and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. We grew up down the street from each other and were in the same Photography class in HS, but we never really talked. He graduated in 99' and I in 01'.

On my first day of class in college, low and behold...David walks through the door. We started talking as friends, then it turned into flirting...and then one day I asked him to come over to my house after class to have sex!! I know, it feels like such a whorish thing to do but somehow I knew that we were going to be extremely compatible...which we were perfect10 .

After that day we have been completely inseparable. After 8 months together we got engaged and 3 years later we got married. Shortly after that was when we faced our biggest challenge, or what I thought would be our biggest challenge, I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, which explained a HELL of a lot!!

David didn't even blink an eye. He understood what that meant and what it would entail of me and of him, but he truly is the only one who understands me, even more than my two best friends who are also Bi-Polar.

I've compiled a list of reasons why we have such a great relationship...

*I completely trust him and vice-versa
*we are honest with each other
*we kiss every time we walk into a room in which the other is in
*we kiss three times each time...always!!
*I love the way his face is all puffy, red and has pillow creases on it in the morning
*he lets me grab his butt all the time, even in public
*I let him grab my boobs all the time, even in public...but on the DL
*he always holds my hand when we walk anywhere
*when we are on the sidewalk he always walks on the side closest to the street
*he holds doors open for me
*we can watch each other go to the bathroom without being all EEEEW about it
*we fart in front of each other all the time
*we miss each other even when I'm in the bedroom and hes in the living room
*he doesn't think I'm fat
*he thinks I'm beautiful
*hes a dork and so am I

The list could go on and on but I don't want to bore you.

By the way...David goes out with friends all the time and so do I, we trust each other enough to know that everything will be alright.
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replied June 14th, 2009
every single guy i have ever dated/semi dated has left me for another girl. heart ache after heart ache. walked into class one day and said "im single!" after bf ignored me for week to learn he was banging his ex. friend said "i think you would really like my friend wes" talked online/texted for a week. met, 3 dates later started being "bf gf" 3 days later couldnt contain myself blurted out "i love you" been together for 3 years married since jan 1 09.
see if i love someone i like to be with them almost 24/7...past bf's obviously didnt like that.
my husband hates to be without me.
my husband listens to the same music as me
my husband plays video games with me
my husband dresses the same as i do
my husband gets my humor
my husband and i cant say a sentence without saying i love you
my husband and i are so comfortable with eachother we pee together lol
i have social anxiety disorder my husband is the only person including my family that i feel 100% at ease with.
my husband wakes me up with an iced coffee just the way i like it
my husband is truly my best friend vice versa
my husband is so sexy to me. id have sex with my husband over jonny depp any day.
my husband does anything i want in a non slave like-whipped manner.
our favorite thing to do is run errands together.
if im crying and upset from something he instantly grabls me and holds me. he knows without me ever telling him that, that is exactly what i need.
when i give him a massage he actually appreciates it.
on the downside...
my husband is very very jealous. over crazy things.
he hates my friends. therefor i dont have any except for his friends and my work friends.
he cant let go of my past.(used to drink and smoke pot)
but i stopped before he met me.
he knows his jealousy is crazy. hes just so afraid of losing me.
im the one whos been cheated on and left for other girls. many many times. im the one that should be jealous (which i am a little) im the one that should be afraid. hes never had his heart broken. his jealousy comes from no where. his jealousy is the only reason we fight. he wants to change. he just doesnt know how.
i love him, im obsessed with him. and i will never leave him no matter what. but his jealousy is wearing me out. i dont know what to do. therapy isnt an option for him by the way..
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