I've been trying to figure out the reason for feeling the way I do for the past few months now, but long story short since the start of August 09 I haven't been feeling myself.

It started soon after I had quite an intense panic attack/bad reaction to some cannabis. However I'm unsure if this is the real reason for the 'Derealization' however I cannot come to any other conclusions. Ever since that day I've always felt a bit detached from myself, time and reality has changed and I'm definitely not feeling the way I remember feeling. The only way I can describe it is as if I am on an autopilot setting, I'm not really taking much in, events are just kind of happening and not sticking as a real memory. My vision can be quite blurry sometimes random and go out of focus, and I have never had any vision problems before.

I have been waking up every day for the past 3 months hoping that I will feel myself again, but it just doesn't seem to be happening and I'm admittedly quite scared about the whole thing. I've tried living my life as normal and have come back to my second year of university and have tried to forget about it all and just carry on, but it isn't working. Every single day of my life, of nearly every hour the whole damn thing keeps playing over and over in my mind. I will be in university at a lecture then suddenly I will have a 'lapse of reality' and feel really disconnected from everything, so I just try and concentrate to ride it out and act fine, but I'm not on the inside.

I keep thinking I should go talk to a psychiatrist or tell my parents but I don't want them to think they've got a wacko for a son. Could someone please give me some answers or advice?