I have lots of very depressed periods. I often lie around all day, feeling sorry for myself, extremely anxious and often thoughts of suicide creep into my head. I have trouble sleeping and can stay up until early hours. Only to be exhausted so much in the morning that I cannot get out of bed. When these periods are over, anything between a few hours to weeks, I often have high periods, making jokes alot, extreme confidence. I can become very creative, having the need to write, anything from a story to a poem. I heard about Bipolar and it seems to fit. Although the cycles for me can be very quick. I can be thinking of suicide one day to have laughing fits the next. The normal periods seem to be very brief. I also have the tendancy to bottle my feelings up. Could this be an explination? I dont know what is wrong with me. But when i started writing this i felt normal and now i feel depressed. I have urges to hurt myself and have done. Pain gives me and odd satisfaction. But afterwards I feel disgusted.

Thanks for your help.