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depression, what should i do to make myself better?

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I don't even know where to begin from
I have gone to psychologists previously but never got any help that could make me feel better
at present my major concern is my academics. I completed my bachelors last year and was preparing for a competitive exam and I failed AGAIN. I just feel I'm a waste. I have no intentions of living and I have been feeling this way from past god knows how many years.
I accept I'm not a sharp girl but I'm working so hard but yet still all I taste is failure. All my life I wanted that one teacher who would really understand my capabilities but all I got were teachers who just insult me and make me feel more worse. 2 years ago I couldn't answer one question in the class and my sir asked me to leave the class. that incident haunts me till date and I wanted to do good in my subjects so that that sir appreciates me, today I gave my exam and I know I'm not going to farewell again. again that failure. I just want to get isolated. lock myself in some room and just don't show my face to anyone study again n again until i achieve success but I'm trying since school days. i don't think theres anything good in me, I'm an absolute failure. i havnt gained any success in any field i have ever picked. i don't know how to do what to do
yesterday all the faculty called the students to wish them for todays exam (the competitive exam) but no one called me.. why? nobody thinks i can do it? what should i do to change their mind? what should i do to make myself better?
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