I am a 28 year old female. I have had depression on and off from my late teens onwards. It comes and go, and is often triggered around stress and my period cycle. However, I am starting to see a pattern of my depression and relationships. I seem to be very happy and depression free at the start of the new relationship. As soon as things get more serious I become needy, depressed, and lose myself. I recently moved in with my partner and things have gone progressively down hill. I find my tolerance level has gone out the window. I am overly sensitive to small things and actions of my partner. I also seem to almost have "tantrums", where I cry and scream in emotional pain. It is almost like a a tantrum a little kid would throw. The few days following these events, I spend trying to pick up the pieces of my broken relationship. My partner is hurt and feels attacked. I feel embarrassed and disappointed I have made such a mess of my relationship. Slowly things rebuild and its almost like it never happened. Then usually a few weeks later my period will be on its way, my partner does not say something quite right, and then we re enter the cycle. I am eager to break this cycle, but I just don't know how. I am on 10mg of celexia and extremely active. I play sports 2-3 times a week, eat healthy, and have 1-2 alcohol beverages a week. I am feeling a bit hopeless and I am sad to watch myself destroy another relationship. I have recently moved to another country to be with the partner, so I am feeling a bit more isolated than usual. I have written to a local councilor to set up a appointment, but was hoping I could get some more feedback here.
Disappointed in myself, but hopeful on a good day!
There are ways to overcome depression but we are all different and must search for what seems to best work for us. I think you are wise keeping in touch with your doctors. This shows you are really trying and not giving up on yourself.