i have depression really bad.. i got it wen i was pregnant i was left a 3 months for a nother girl .. i was hurt really bad.. i wanted to die.. my baby was the only thing keeping me going.. its 2 years later and im still the same way.. i have a boyfriend now i keep pushing him away and i ccant stop i push my family away aswell... i have a little boy and omg hes my heart but i cant forces my self to be his mother he would rather be wit my parents then he would wit me.. i cry every night.. hoping i die... it hurts me so much inside to see that my son doesnt want to be wit his mother.. im hurt by everything.. im scared my boyfriend doesnt want to be wit me anymore.. im scared to be alone.. i hate everything in my life.. i want to say and believe that i love my boyfriend but i cant something is stopping me and im scared... it all comes down to being depressed.. im only 19 years old.. i wish i knew how not to be depressed i take medication everyday i have ulcers and such... i hurt all the time. i do as much as i can go for walk runs do things around the house but it all comes down to being depressed.. can anyone give me suggestions?