to scared to talk to friends or the feel that they will pity me which i don't want!i have to put on a brave face to what is expected.especially at home..i'll often walk miles just so i don't have to be there.last night i was nearly attacked cos i didn't care,i just wanted to be alone.i went out with someone who i thought cared and silly me fell in love with them.but they left me cos i was to young.i now i have to see him with someone else knowing if i was something different then i'd be happy.it was all a secret though. i can't tell anyone and i feel like i don't belong here and i want to get out! it hurts!it leads to me blaming others,getting so angry and then doing stupid things.like not eating,rebound guys,arguments wit mum,i don't sleep cos that's all i think about.my body is out it,i have so much work for exams but my heads gone. failed my last exam. i need some hope. i find it hard to accept me. i sit on my own..i don't fit it.i don't relate.want to be something else.its so dark.
Hi, welcome to the ehealth forum and I am glad to help you.
You seem concerned by the thoughts of not belonging to world, disrespect for your ownself, loss of sleep(insomnia), loss of hope in life, feeling of worthlessness and inappropriate guilt, indecisiveness and impairment in judgment of right and wrong.
You might be suffering from major depressive episode and you need urgent consultation with a psychiatrist who can reach a definitive diagnosis only after detailed history and thorough analysis and evaluation of your symptom complex. You might need antidepressant medications and same can only be prescribed by a doctor after definitive diagnosis. In addition to the medical management by drugs, cognitive behavioral and interpersonal therapies are effective in improving psychological and social adjustment.
Hope this helps. Take care.
Note: This post is not to emphasise final diagnosis as the same cannot be made online and is aimed just to provide medical information and no treatment suggested above be taken without face to face consultation with health care professional.
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