Hi, welcome to the ehealth forum and I am glad to help you.
You seem concerned by the thoughts of not belonging to world, disrespect for your ownself, loss of sleep(insomnia), loss of hope in life, feeling of worthlessness and inappropriate guilt, indecisiveness and impairment in judgment of right and wrong.
You might be suffering from major depressive episode and you need urgent consultation with a psychiatrist who can reach a definitive diagnosis only after detailed history and thorough analysis and evaluation of your symptom complex. You might need antidepressant medications and same can only be prescribed by a doctor after definitive diagnosis. In addition to the medical management by drugs, cognitive behavioral and interpersonal therapies are effective in improving psychological and social adjustment.
Hope this helps. Take care.
Note: This post is not to emphasise final diagnosis as the same cannot be made online and is aimed just to provide medical information and no treatment suggested above be taken without face to face consultation with health care professional.