Depression,Obsession,Lack of sleep

Hi,

I have been suffering from depression 8 years back,when I had a bad crush on someone and I was obsessed and all my friends just used me and used to bully and ridicule me continuously and i couldnt even make out or react since I was very naive and i would never want to hurt them.But it affected me badly.I lost days of sleep and struggled to get a degree focussing on my studies out of obession and depression.To others I would seem very jovial,but deep down inside i'd be feeling depressed and unhappy.I took medicine for few months for depression after 3 years of depression and then stopped 4 years back.It was stopped myself by reducing the dosage though not by the advice of a psychologist.He used to say I have OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder.

Currently,for many years I have been facing this problem.

Every day I wake up,I feel choked out of deep sorrow i can feel the sadness in my throat.It chokes me badly.The feeling is equivalent to what you feel when something disastrous happens in your life.Then I force myself and starts the day.This has been like this for close to 5 years now.These days I feel like that even during the day.I do not want to fall back and start taking medicine again since its very much horrible and tormenting.Please provide me a solution.

Obsession-
I get obsessed with people.Its regardless of gender,lately i identified it as purely emotional.Some one shows me too much of care and affection at one juncture of my life,I will be obsessed with that person for years.I think about that person,feels that person is watching me if I go out since most of the time those people where either my friends/colleagues/teachers.If they do something even slightly negative,my whole day/days would be spoiled.I would even think about that person in the morning,night,even in sleep and all thorough out my day.I might be engaged in my work and other relationships and basic studies and all activities which I do following a routine(a written one most of the but all the times) those people would come to my mind when ever I do something in the background of my mind the person with whom I am currently obsessed will be there.But I cant call it as love since in the ankle of love,I did get attracted to others/opposite gender and parallelly this obsession sustained.There were times when i even lost my sleep..As of now it has happened to me for 3 years-1 person,1 year-1 person and 4 years-1 person which is still there.Is there a way to get out of this.

Current issue which needs serious attention is I am not able to stand even a slight offending behaviour from anyone..In this world people might ridicule you,say bad things at you,talk purposely to degrade or belittle you.It happens daily.Once I come back home,It affects my personal life badly.I cant focus.I might not even prepare my food.This might continue for days...

These days I have felt that thers no meaning with my life since even in my family except for my Mom,i dont get a satisfactory emotional relationship.My sister is good but she is always at the receiving end... If something bad emotionally strikes me she doesnt even bother to call me or console me..But I have been through many things in my past 8 years and I have survived with my willpower and prayers.Please provide a solution as I dont want to lose even now