I'm currently 17 years of age, this happened last year. I was having the best days of my life, I played in the top leagues receiving MVP awards one after another. Then it happened, the biggest lie i have ever told, i don't know why i told it but its ruined my life, my career, my skills and destroyed my soccer mentality. I told all my friends that i was going to a foreign country to play soccer in a professional academy but I wasn't. I had to hide from all my friends, and had to hide from my one passion in life, Soccer. Everyday I would put on a huge hood to cover my face and i would run the other way when i saw a friend walking towards me. I had to stay inside, telling my parents if anyone called that I would "be back in 2weeks" they didn't know why though. I stopped going to school because of the lie, if someone who knew me saw me then they would have told everyone and i would be mocked as a lair for the rest of my life. I skipped every day every week. I failed all my classes and then another lie comes in. I told my parents i was being bullied when i was not, they put me in another alternative class where i attended regularly with a hood on and hand covering my face as much as i could, being scared that someone would see me.

The depression was fierce, i couldn't play soccer everyday all day like before because the field i played at was right across from all my friends house. I got even more depressed when i "came back after a tournament for 2months" and all my skills were gone, my speed was gone and now live under the shadows of my former self. All my friends say how good i am because of playing with me before. But at this moment im not the same depressed, sad because i keep on thinking of what i usto be and what this 1 lie did to my life. dubbed the next C.Ronaldo, now im only the next nothing. Luckily next summer i have a trial with a big club, but i cant train like i usto 7-8hrs a day, i get sad and depressed because i can't do what i usto and i just put my self down. all my other friends are getting better while im at home pouring my heart out on this post. its killing me, i don't know what to do, is it depression? anxiety? do i need see a doctor? how can i get back to my former self? i only like 7months left please help me.