I do not know what the symptoms of depression are, or if I fit the description of a depressed person, but I feel like I am at a breaking point and the frustration with myself and the flood of sadness I experience are wearing me down faster and faster than they ever have before.
These feelings of deep sadness and negetive thoughts are extremely off and on for me. I don't really know what to make of it or if it is even a medical issue, which is why I am asking.
Some days I'll be up and about, going about my day as normal, happy as ever, very energetic, task oriented and I feel like I am on top of the world. I have considered myself a generally positive person most of my life, and I am happy on the days when I don't feel down.
During the last couple years of my life, though I have been feeling soooooo sad for no reason! Usually it happens at night or when I am by myself. Sometimes my girlfriend is around when it happens and she keeps asking me what's wrong and I just don't have an answer because I don't know!
When this happens to me I think so negetively, when I finally snap out of it or go to sleep, i'll wake up the next day and say "wow why was I feeling so down?". It feels like the worst feeling ever, like someone i know just died. It's like theres a wrenching kind of nervous feeling I have but Its more like the kind of feeling when you get sad.
I start to think of very negetive things for example I cant shake the feeling that my girlfriend is cheating on me, even though I know she is not and there is no evidence to support that thought.
Thats basically the best I can explain what I am going through. I experience this kind of sourceless deep deep sadness around five times a week, mostly at night. I am at my breaking point and somethings gotta give. I'm tired of being sad for no reason. I am tired of crying because i'm so sad it hurts. I don't know who to talk to, because I feel like people would just think i'm being melodramatic and pesemistic.
Please help me figure out what I can do to stop this, I don't know what to do!
If you Google "Depression Test" you can get links to several online tests for depression. You can get an idea of how bad your depression is.
You basically meet to definition of a person who has depression. There is a list of usual depression symptoms at the end of this post. You have a lot of them.
Since you have noticed that this is a problem, you should probably seek professional help.
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION:
> Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
> Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
> Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
> Reduced sex drive
> Insomnia or excessive sleeping
> Changes in appetite — depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain
> Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
> Irritability or angry outbursts
> Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
> Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
> Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy — even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort
> Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren't going right
> Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
> Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
> Crying spells for no apparent reason
> Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right. Other people feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
Depression affects each person in different ways, so symptoms caused by depression vary from person to person. Inherited traits, age, gender and cultural background all play a role in how depression may affect you.