You can't just decide to end depression, or anxiety.
You can decide thought that you need medical treatment and both can be quelled with one med. That won't cure them but the idea is to minimise the symptoms to allow therapy to be effective. You seem to have a fair knowledge of where your problems came from parents, (don't they all???) so you have somewhere to start.
Don't assume though that it did not start much earlier in life as we learn most up to the age of 5.
On other words, get a doctor, get a referral to a shrink and get meds to raise and stabilise your mood. Once that is achieved then therapy is productive and not just a waste of time.
DOn't blame yourself for stopping and starting. I did it for decades before I realised I had to be serious. Now I am on meds probably for life but that's OK as long as they help. I'm doing OK but I wasted so much time getting here. Don't you, you've wasted enough.
By the way I had depression from 10 but didn't know it un til I was 35 and it wasn't until age 48 that I got serious. So you have a long way yto go to waste more of your life than I did mine.
I'm not bitter except towards 3 people who could have stopped all this but basically I'm fine and those people respectivley are 1. Passed away, 2. Crippled himself while drunk and 3, In another vity. So I never see them.