That's a good question. I hope someone replies that may have the answer for you.
I'd be interested to here what they suggest. I don't know if I would personally tell them.
Do you take antidepressents for the depression?

Well I suffer from anxiety as well and that's been taking it's toll in the job. I don't know how much longer I can last. I am on antidepressents, and have off-and on for over a decade, but they don't seem to work.

Hi Mocoto,

Have you tried different anti depressents. Thare are so many out there that sometimes it takes time to find the right ones. There are anti depressents that should help with the anxiety too.
Have you seen a psychologist? i did and I found it a little helpful.
I would suggest finding a good doctor and together finding the medication that works for you. (if you haven't already tried )

Harmony1 xo

TALK TO A DOCTOR! Get on a good antidepressant before it gets out of hand.

I'm actually already seeing doctors every 2 weeks and have tried so many kinds of medications I can't even remember them all. The doctor says I it may take up to six weeks for the meds I'm taking now to take effect. But when every day it gets more and more difficult for me to force myself to get out of bed and go to work, six weeks seems like a really long time. And that's assuming that the meds have any effect at all.

What about a psychologist?
Maybe try telling the people you work with that you suffer from depression. I know I said I probably wouldn't but maybe it could be a good thing if they knew. They could be a little more understanding and supporting.
Or could it be that you don't really like your job?? There's nothing worse then working in a job you truely hate. I worked at a place for 5 yrs. Didin't love it but I didn't hate it so it was good. Then recently I worked at a job for 8 months and boy did I hate it so eventually I left. Never felt better. The place just wasn't me.. I'd advice finding a new job first lol Something i didn't do..
Otherwise just try and hang in there. stay positive and know that each day is closer to you feeling better. ( I know that must sound really hard to you right now but thats what you have to do for yourself)

Take it easy,

Harmony1 xo

I'm seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist about every two or three weeks, though my insurance only covers 12 visits a year and I've used about half of those up. We talk but I honestly don't get much out of it. It's just someone to talk to every once in a while (I don't have any friends/family here). I don't like my job, but I've never liked any job I've had. I thought this one was going to be different, but... it didn't really turn out that way. Part of it is my fault. I'm trying to stay on. The last job I had I only lasted six months. The job before that just four months. I can't just go around jumping between jobs or eventually no one will hire me.

I've been told things will get better most of my adult life. I've been doing this all my life and sometimes I just get tired and I feel like I don't want to go on anymore. Sometimes things are better but they're never really good.

I can't quit my job now. I need the insurance to fatten the the doctors who give me drugs that make me sick and "therapy" that doesn't do anything.

Sorry to whine and complain

DO you have any problems ith addictions? IE drinking Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time- If they've tried so many anti depressents and nothing is working could it be something else that could be upsetting you.

I don't know if I have any problems. I drink heavily on weekends. It helps to pass the time. I guess I don't think as much when I drink.

I'm not upset. There's not one thing I'm upset about. Unless you consider everything something.

Have you tried to go on disability?

When I got manic depression, I was put on some form of assistance and that helped. Instead of working, I found a volunteer position that I liked. Years later, I am still volunteering.

Have you thought of that?

I hope you can overcome this and stop drinking so heavily on the weekends.

Always
Muthoni (Mson)

Hi macoto. Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down. There are some great people here at eHealth who really care and want to help...

In my personal experience, I don't inform my employers that I experience depression. I feel like I've recovered now, but I used to call in sick. I also found a "sliding scale" mental clinic that I could afford through the United Way and the university I lived close to. Sessions were $17 each at the time (5 years ago) and I went once a week to individual session and once a week to group sessions. It really helped.

I think that you need PEOPLE. Have you thought about seeking out help from a 12 step group? If you're drinking to feel better this can help you. Just a suggestion...

I stopped drinking but it doesn't help. I just did it to shut people up. I saw my doctor last week and she upped the dosage of the medication I've been taking. So far it hasn't made any difference either and I doubt that it ever will.

I don't want to be put on "assistance". I don't even know what that means.

I'm already going to a medical clinic. When I wasn't working I went to one that was paid for by the county and I didn't have to pay anything except $2 for the medication. That's not the issue.

I don't think I need a 12 step group. For one I'm not a drunk. I only drink sometimes on the weekends. Secondly, I've already stopped drinking because I got sick of everyone telling me to. And thirdly I'm not religious and so most of the 12 steps don't apply to me.

I didn't necessarily drink to feel better. I drank to pass the time. There's nothing else I feel like doing on the weekends but sleep.

I'm probably going to stay at my job for just a couple more months if I can stand it. Then I'm going to quit. I don't know what I'm going to do after that.

Going on assistance is the same as going on disability pension.

Always
Muthoni (Mson)

Hey macoto, I totally umderstand what you're saying because I'm much the same way. I have suffered with depression for the last three years and, even though I'm better now than I was, I still get days where everything seems pointless. I have done all sorts of different jobs because I keep thinking that the next one I do will be the one to make me happy. The reality is that very few people are lucky enough to truly enjoy their jobs, I guess I'm going to have to just accept that.

I know what you mean about not being able to get up to go to work. To someone who has not suffered depression it sounds like laziness but it truly isn't - it's like even putting clothes on is an effort of gargantuan proportions. It's like every bloody day is just the same as the previous one and what's the point anyway because it's so boring. I used to dread going to bed at night because I'd have to wake up and do another day.

Anyway, I am a lot better now. After trying several different tablets I was put on Effexor and after 7 months I cam off them. I haven't lapsed so badly since though I am aware that I have a tendency towards depression.

Your weekend drinking was a natural reaction to your depression - personally I binge eat. Everyone has something that is their coping mechanism. It's good that you've managed to cut down or stop though because even though you are not an alcoholic now, depression can be a slippery slope.

Are there any charities you feel passionate about? Do you love animals for example? Perhaps you could get a pet; animals are usually nicer than humans and can be a great source of comfort for a depressed and lonely person. Maybe you could volunteer at a rescue sanctuary or something - just a couple of hours a week. It helps to feel you are making a difference in the world.

Anyway, these are just a few suggestions. Please do not give up hope that things will get better. You're not alone.

Hi. It's me again. It's 9:30 am and I'm still in bed and I'm afraid I'm not going to make it to work today. I just feel so bad and I wish I was dead.

A quick update: My last job I quit. I just started a new job last month in another part of the country. I haven't been here a month yet. My job is depressing. Not difficult. Just boring and depressing. I make good money, but I already hate my job.

I have always been shy. It has always affected everything in my life but it's especially hard with my job now, because it requires a lot of communication. I freeze up. I can't look anyone in the eye. A lot of times I try to talk but nothing comes out of my mouth. When I do talk I look/feel awkward. People at work have already come on to this, and most people don't even talk to me at all. I don't go out to lunch with anyone. I don't even get asked anymore. I spend my lunches alone and depressed. My job is boring, and I'm not doing a good job of it because of the shyness thing, so most of the day I am depressed. Then I come home and I'm still depressed.

I don't have any ambitions or goals. Aside from food and sex nothing holds my attention. I just want to melt away... die. I try being positive but it's so hard because I know I'm pretending.

I used to have friends but I drive all my friends/girlfriends away. I don't know anyone in this town. I'm not close with my family. I haven't felt this bad in over 10 years when I started a new job out of college in a new town. I hated the job and the town. Eventually I attempted suicide, but failed.

I haven't felt this bad in over 15 years. I called in sick last Friday. I don't know what I'm going to do today. I just started the job so I haven't accumulated much time off. I've considered quitting the job but they paid for me to relocate and if I quit before I've been there a year then I'd owe them a lot of money.

Before I moved I was seeing doctors and taking medication but it wasn't helping. People keep saying don't kill yourself. They keep saying seek help. But I have been doing this for a very long time. I am tired. I am very very very tired. I just don't see the point in anything anymore. I know something about me just isn't normal and I will never be "normal" and I'm just sick of living the way that I am.

I wish I knew what to tell my job...

My boss new and he felt I was lying. I have come to trust no one when it comes to my problem.

macoto,
man i know exactly how do you feel, i fight against depression about 20 years, just before one year i was diagnosed bipolar, im in depression state about one year after my last manic episode. I tried also to suicide but i failed. I changed many jobs. I lost many friends and girlfriends. Im in a job now that people know my problem and most of them hardly want to talk with me. I still want to fight and cope with my "ubnormal" mind. Why? I really dont know. Sometimes i just wish to sleep and not to wake up for ever. Im almost 40 years old single, financially destroyed from my manic episodes. The future makes me sad and scared. I really wish to had a trick to share with you to get us out of this state, but the only stupid thing that i can say, is that i fully understand you.

Macoto,
I know how you feel. I am trying to look as normal as possible at work so that I don't get shuffeled into a useless area because I of my 'state' or worse yet, fired. I worry about it daily on all levels of my life. I work harder now to be socially graceful all day long because keeping busy keeps me from reacting to my depression. I keep a steady pace of 'activity' in my life and I'm on the even keel because of those concerted efforts. I hope you get a break in the depression etc. It sounds like you are working towards a solution and something good is bound to come from that effort. Good times...hang in there.