My bf and I were having reltionship problems and so one day he decided he need to leave for a while. he told me he loved me and would be back in a week.He wanted to resolve his issues which also involved his family before he could work on us. The longer he was gone the more angry he became and he kept increasing the time that he returns home. He also started acting completely different. He is normally very polite and caring, but now doesnt return phonecalls, hangs up on people and when his father told him im taking this very hard, he just said" Im working on myself".
The first two weeks he still hugged me and kissed me and told me he loved me, but that he wasnt ready to come home yet. His third week he came over and when I tried to hug him he pulled away and said he didnt think we were gonna work out. But he said he loved me and thought of me everyday, and needed to see a change in me, for him to change his mind. He cant see a change because he only comes over once a week and never speaks with me in any way. He also said he didnt think he would ever come home now. Each week he seems to push away more, and even after he broke up with me he reached out for me then pulled away and began to cry but wouldnt let me hold him. Should i hold out because this is a part of depression or should i be serious and move on becasue we were experienceing relationship problems?
Im so stressed and cant ask him these questions becasue this week he didnt even come to visit.I feel like hes drifting farther away and theres nothing i can do to help him or us.
i would give him some time to iron out his problems. i would also continue on with your life. he already told you he probably will never come back.
i've learned in my life time to never ignore what a man says. i got into a relationship with a guy who said he didnt want to be in a relationship. i didnt hold a gun to his head, but i did presue him, and the end result was disasterous.
don't allow him to come over when ever he wants, and call when ever he wants, he left, that means that's his lost. but dont sit around crossing your fingers for him to come back.
he said he wants to see a change in you, vs. 'lets work on us" i dont like those words. im sure it's something about him that you dont like.
i would move on.
I would tend to agree with ServiceU. He has some problems to work out and needs time and space to do so. He does not, however, have the right to take advantage of you. Set boundaries and don't enable him to use or abuse you. He rejected your support when he moved out. Now, he needs to demonstrate that he really is working on these problems and not just wallowing in them and coming to you for comfort or support. He needs to consider your feelings and not take advantage of your feelings for him.