I have self medicated on and off for years with mainly alcohol. My last binge lasted a few months of drinking just about daily. I quit about a month ago and was ok for the first couple weeks. Since then my depression and anxiety have gotten much worse. My theory is that the alcohol artificially boosted my brain chemistry and now without the booze I have crashed. I have a long history of depressive/anxiety disorder and understand all to well that self medication with alcohol can lead to much misery. I am determined to stay sober and weather this storm. Any feed back would be greatly appreciated.
Yes, alcohol can be used as a form of self medication.In liue of real treatment. I know, I did it for 35 years. I'd binge until I was broke and then go home and crash. Go to work feeling sick as hell but get through my work, after about 3 days I felt OK again so went on another bender.
I was a happy drunk you see so I was able to do it for so long wiuthing certain restrictions. Those were, I never drank alone and I never drank at home, never even had booze at home. I didn't really like it.
Just liked getting drunk, and fast. Used to call it "blowing away the cobwebs".
What it did was keep me focused on the next binge and feeling so bad in between depression had a fight getting to the surface. For 35 years I did it that way as my early use of meds did nothing for me.
One night I became violent and knew it was over and stopped that next day, never wanted it since. Incentives you see.
At that stage I decided I had to get serious about treatment and lucked out finding a great shrink. I'd seen many useless ones in between.
Since then it's all been up. No, I have not been "cured" but my mind is at peace, I don't have fear, anxiety of panic and in fact I'm content with life as it is now.
I'm not who I was but then again, who was I? I didn't know. I've had a lot of big negative events in my life and it was about 6 onths after the last one I got viloent and stopped the booze, Since given up tobacco and gambling too. All the things I thought were my life but were just ways of avoiding life.
I can't say I like much about society or most people but I thinbk society as a whole is on a downward spiral. As such I am only interested in me, how I feel and my family. I have a partner and a 17 year old still at home. 3 adult children in various cities too.
Feedback you say? Well giving up anything must be a decision, not just a temporary stop. You must want it or it's a matter of time before you do it again.
If you want a real show of what you are like, go out anywhere where people drink and DON'T DRINK yourself. Just drink soda or cola etc and watch and listen as people get drunk and become so amusing they can hardly stop laughing. You'll see what you are like when drunk. You become a public display of stupidity and you'll think it funny if drunk.
It's not, it's a human embarrassing themselves to such an extent they don't care what they do or who they do it with.
Don't drink alone and don't have any in the house. Stop going to anywhere that sells booze. Stop smoking if you do as a smoke will tell you that you want a drink. They go together you see.
Yes, I lost so many friends as we suddenlt had nothing in common. But were they friends? Yeah, we had fun, but we never visited each other or such. Just got drunk together.
These days I view places where people drink as outpatient sites formental hospitals. As most whodo get blind are depressed beyond belief.
You are better than that and you now know it. Find other ways to spend your time and avoid all contact. I can't stand being anywhere people drink and do not even go to gatherings where it will be.
It's not easy for most but it was for me as I had an incentive. Violence ends with jail. No way!