Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: Salinas, Ca US
depressed over friends Posted: 04-12-08 13:23pm
I often get depressed cause I dont fit in
with my friends I feel isolated. Why do I
care so much about not fitting in. I think
It is cause I cant seem to be happy around
them its not them I just feel depressed.
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jimbo21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 2
depressed over friends Posted: 04-15-08 00:36am
I've had the same feeling. It's difficult,
especially in high school. I found that I
had a better time and felt less isolated
at university. I found that with my
depression, I discovered who my friends
really were. I think some were almost
happy to see me down as it meant they were
able to say things behind my back. A
friend I thought was genuine since I was
13 basically said that I had brought the
depression on myself. That ended the
friendship for me and thinking back over
the years I realise how they really
weren't my friend. They were just uisng me
for free food, internet, dvds etc... I
thought that after we all turned 20 we'd
stop the high school bs. Depression has
taught me that you really don't need
friends. A true friend is extremely
difficult to find.
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Da Big Fonz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: Salinas, Ca US
Posted: 04-15-08 10:36am
You know I feel the same way although they
wouldnt really use me for anything just
have me around cause I dont know why I
guess its cause I wouldnt judge them. I
have been guilty of being a shity friend I
remember in one ocasion that I ditch my
buddy at another friends house to spend
alone time with my girlfriend. In my
deffense I only had a weekend to spend
time with friends and my girlfriend I
didnt really like spending time with both
cause I am a different person around
friends and my girlfriend.
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Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 223 Location: ,
Posted: 04-15-08 10:51am
Even without depression i have found out
that i don't need friends. It is very VERY
hard to find a good friend that will be
there for you through EVERYTHING. I'd been
friends with a girl since 6th grade and up
until last halloween (i'm a sophomore in
college now) we were best friends. All it
took was for her to hit on my boyfriend a
few times for me to have had enough. My
boyfriend and i have been together for
almost 2 years now and hes the only thing
i really have. My parents split my senior
year. I never see my dad, my moms more
interested in her boyfriend than her kids,
i lost my best friend, i'm more on the shy
side so i dont talk to many people at
school either. BUT IM DOING JUST FINE! I
keep busy with other things.
And about the whole, you ditched one of
your buddies for time with your
girlfriend, i think every guy has done
that at one point or another. Some times
you would just rather hangout with us
amazing girls, AKA your gf, over the guys.
Plus us girls are better anyways but you do need to
hang out with the boys once in awhile to
keep your self sane lol.
Hope this helped, best wishes!
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Marlin1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 3
Isolated Posted: 04-15-08 22:11pm
I feel like this too, Except I wouldnt
call them good friends. They were a study
group and after high school I really had
not gone out with people my own age. It
was very fun and I felt I like finally Had
a group of people to be with and hang
with. But then after words it seems like
it was only for the sake of the study
group. I try to hang with them but... I'm
always on the outside looking in on
them....... I rarely have anything good
to say about anything other then school
and I wish I did.... And I feel like If I
was their true friend then wouldnt they
happily invite me to do stuff with them
instead of me having to always ask? This
could just be me being selfish but you get
the idea.
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Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 223 Location: ,
Posted: 04-16-08 17:19pm
I was the same way though. I talked to a
lot of people in high school everyday.
Once i gradtuated, i talked to prolly 5
here and there. About 6 months after
gradation i didnt talk to a single one of
them... Thats just kinda what happens.
Are either of you guys going to school,
high school, college? Cause that will/can
keep you busy and your mind off 'not
having friends'
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jimbo21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 04-16-08 19:22pm
I have my graduation ceremony in two
weeks, but this isn't how I imagined it. I
was going to do postgraduate this year and
the lecturers were keen but the depression
derailed that. During my final year, my
friend since I was 13 was jobless for 6
months. She was basically over at my place
every day while I was trying to get on
with my work. I dropped more than a few
hints, but I've never been one for
confrontation. I even wrote a resume for
her the night after I'd sat an exam. The
trouble with me is that I've always been
too nice and think that if I do something
good, a friend will eventually repay me.
Now that I'm not studying and she's
working, she's made a few judgements about
where I'm at right now -- "why aren't you
studying", "are you going to get a job
instead?", "you brought it on yourself". I
know this is a funny way of thinking about
it, but I'm sure that if I didn't have the
depression, our 'friendship' would have
carried on for a few more years. But yeah,
I think we all act differently around
different people and there's nothing wrong
with spending time with your gf instead of
your friends. It's prioritising your time
well.
but you do need to
hang out with the boys once in awhile to
keep your self sane lol.
