My name is Nicole and I am so depressed and lonely, and I feel like a burden talking to the ones I love and support me. I am a senior in college with a roommate who hates me, no friends to go to and a boyfriend I love at home who i miss so much. I lived with my boyfriend during break seeing him and sleeping right next to him made me the happiest I have ever been but now I am back to school and the crying hasn't stopped.
I try to keep myself busy by going to class and going to the gym but the nights are so terrible. I hate going to my boyfriend because I don't want him to feel guilty that he is at home and I am at school nor do I want him to think that I am week and dependent on him but sadly he is my rock my other half and I depend on him so much. I use to be this independent strong person, but I have had so many bumps in the road that just made me so unhappy.
My boyfriend and I have had many issues and one of them is trust and it's hard for me to trust him when I am here and he is there. When I lived with him I knew his every move, what he was doing and who is was talking to. He wanted his privacy and he has his privacy but with that privacy comes a lot of baggage and one of them is talking to his ex. I mean he was with her for four years and was going to be engaged so I know that it takes time. (I know I am all over the place in this forum but I just have so much stuff on my mind).
I also feel that because I am so depressed, lonely, and homesick I feel that he needs to tell me how he feels. Hearing him say he loves me and misses makes me feel so much better but is that to much to ask? he told me that he was with me everyday during break that i know how he feels about me and that I shouldn't need to ask. Is he right? I just don't know anymore. Sometimes I just ask him to call me at night to say I love you because it makes me feel good, and you know what he says "oh my god your so needy" but i just need it right now i need to feel secure. Is that wrong?
Why donÃ¢spamï¿½t you consult a counselor and help yourself get rid of this problem? This feeling of loneliness and depression may cause health disorders if unattended. Please consult a doctor soon and discuss the problems bothering you. Get help to elevate your spirits. Have a positive attitude towards life. Visualize that you are living with your family happily. Mind has tremendous power to control your body and emotions. DonÃ¢spamï¿½t let your mind controlled by negative thoughts.
All the best