on January 3 2009. i was getting ready to kill myself. i had been storing up my meds for a while..it was around 1 in the morning when i called my "best friend"..i was basically crying on the phone telling her that i was sorry about everything. she basically laughed at me..and told me to stop being stupid..i know how you feel.sometimes talking to people you don't know helps.i'm new to this so i don't really know, but i what i have realized from past experiance is that it does help to talk to people you don't know because they don't know you so they can't judge you. i find it easier to do this because i don't feel like people are going to say the stuff i talk about behind my back..

if you want to talk more message me...be good im here

A Friend

Hello Katiedid1976 ,

Sorry to read about the bad time you have had recently.

How about seeing if you sister and your family with go to your therapist with you? Where your therapist can explain a bit about Bipolar.

Possibly your sister is feeling somewhat overwheelmed and concerned for you. She does not have a clue how to help you should this situation possibly repeat itself. Plus she may feel she has no control over it. (there is no reason why it should be repeated)

What some famiies and friends of those with Bipolar have done is to prepare a plan. Once on of the family or friends see the bipolar symtoms become more pronounced, or worrying they can start the processes of the plan.

This way family and friends know what is the best thing to do for the person with Bipolar (and incidently feel like they are helping have some control) and another most important thing is that you also know what the plan is.

The plan would need to be agreed upon by all parties concerned.

A professional who is used to Bipolar (most likely your current therapist) can devise such a plan.

All the best, with your family,

JennyRobin

Two years ago I tried to commit suicide as well. I came home one night and just "decided" to empty a bottle of pills. Truly, one minute before this decision I had not even thought about suicide! That is when I was diagnosed with bipolar. As I read other people's stories, I see that they too have gone through that. It just seemed like a good idea at the time; almost like it wasn't really you or your decision. It's scary! I wrote a note with an eye liner pencil on my mirrow apologizing but not saying why I was doing what I was doing. My husband went to bed and I spent maybe half an hour in the bathroom. Luckily, he woke up and came into the living room where I was "passed out" from the drugs and called 911. When I woke up I was horrified.

My family was very supportive but still could not understand why I felt I "had to do this". It made me angry that they didn't understand but I learned that they couldn't understand because they don't know how we feel. It took a lot of therapy for me to "forgive" myself for what I did. I have three children and, even though I sometimes still think about suicide, I don't know if I could ever try it again.

Your family is confused and scared. Your sister seems very selfish to me. At the very least, I feel she may be harboring some jealousy because of the attention you got when you tried to commit suicide. She doesn't understand that for one to make that decision, the last thing you want is attention! Also, she should be very, very grateful that you called her. I know if my husband would not have woke when he did, I would not be here to write to you. Good luck!