the message you sent has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself.
i had one friend and she married and now have five kids, so i hardly talk to her. i moved away and i have a female assocate that is okay, but cant take the place of my best freind. i m comfortable with being by myself and not having many friends.
your life doesnt seem so bad to me right now.
i moved to florida with my son to start over, and i didnt know anyone.
you can set up an account with mypspace, facebook, and tweeter to find friends.
you sound depressed, and being depressed your thoughts are negative. when your around people are you negative, and always sad? are you a happy person to be around.
do you go out anywhere other than your job. you said you have a job you like, most people hate their jobs and it stresses them out.

you sound like a male version of me except for the self harming and anorexiathough i look it lol im on lots of painmeds and i dont gain weight for being nausious all the time. im 37 now but i am the same way always have been. my dad was a drill sgt. mp in the army 6 foot 6 189 ponds of mean german. always beating us for no reason. my brother was murdered. my mother suicide. sisterdied of heart problems. my father missing a week befor we found him (he was a trucker later in life) all dead before i was 30. in schooli didnt care about friends i was depressed and stayed to my self and still do. suicide is the major killer in my family tree. but i refuse i wantto live. one thing i did wasi had a list of "feel good movies" i would watch when i was very sad. movies that have a very happy positive storyline pleasent to the eyes and mind. save an animal from death at the shelter, look into that animals eyes and know that you helped it in return they will love you so much ive always had lots of animals around me and they make such a difference in a otherwise lonely life. please do this you wont be dissipointed . also you need friends who can relate ask your hospital for support groups they hold youll be happy to find a kindred spirit in someone who knows , and you wont haveto go into great detail about everything because they will already know. have dinner dates with youre new friends thats always fun. share your list and let the animals play . good luck and know it does get better you have to want it. write anytime

Hey Ryan.. That message was very refreshing for me because I feel very similar to you and have done also for so many years. I know exactly what pain you're going through. It hurts, and the pain only gets worse and worse and it feels as though i'm are just gliding through life with no real purpose. But, I know that there is help out there..which I am plucking up the courage to go and seek. Having a psychologist is never a bad thing..as you learn new things about yourself and how to deal with tough times. It's incredible for healing. The feeling i'm getting is that you need to challenge yourself to new experiences - to up your adrenaline, add excitement to your life and meet great new friends in the process. This can be done in many ways. Have you ever considered college or university? Or perhaps you could find a new job? Something fun that involves regular interaction and teamwork. Honey, it's important to know that we all have our hard times, but you're 21 years old with your whole life ahead of you - you're not going to feel like this forever. I would suggest building on your self-esteem and confidence. This can be done by working with a psychologist, or if you prefer become your own psychologist and order some self-help books on how to make new friends, become more popular etc. It sounds silly but there are some great books out there on that sorta thing..and it can really help. And to avoid what happened with your ex sweetheart, you need to make sure that you fully love yourself before letting someone else in so that your judgment on people isn't blinded - this often happens with people who suffer from low self-esteem. They settle for people who do not deserve them as they feel they can do no better. For the record, you sound great and i truly hope you begin to feel happier about your life very soon. If you ever want to talk to me..just send me a message. I'll even give you my msn if you want to chat properly