Are you still in school (high school or college)? Schools often have free counseling. I know my college has tons of licensed psychologists and psychiatrists working for free for any student who needs them. Also, psychiatrists are given packs and packs of free samples of medication. If you went to one via school or some other means and told them about your insurance problem, they might be able to help out. I have a friend who got six months worth of anti depressants for free via free samples because she had insurance issues and her doctor knew she needed to be on medication and that was the only way to do it.
I'm sorry that you are going through so much lately. It seems like you are having a really hard time. The loss of a love is always extremely hard to cope with. How did you feel when you were in the mental health clinic? You said they were offering you medical attention and you denied it. Is there any way you could go back to the hospital and let them know you've been feeling down again and ask if there is anything they can do to help out?
Drugs and alcohol, although they make you feel better sometimes at the time, really don't help in the long run. They are depressants and make things worse. Is there anyone you can talk to for support, even if its an adult/parent or friend? Talking things out will often help a lot. Hang in there. I hope things start to improve for you. I'm here to talk if you ever need anyone.
