Depression Forum - Depressed after family death

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Q: Depressed after family death

asked by: lonely_guy_20 on March 14th, 2008

New User

Well my mother died Feb. 23 2008....just a couple of weeks ago, and ever since we're distant he doesn't like to talk. i just started a new job couple of days before she passed. My brother is 17 and goes to an alternative school.learn at your own pace sort of school. On one of his papers he drew a man hanging from a rope. He has told me that he has suicidal thoughts sometime's. He is on anti-depressants, but he hasn't been taking them. I have to work 10 hrs. a day and don't get to talk to him much cause he's at school and i work til 2 in the morning. he takes me to work right after he gets out of scool. I am really worried about him. I'm dealing with my own sorrow as well. But i'm really worried he might do it. He got drunk tonight ,he was supposed to pick me up from work. I got a ride to my our house , and his car wasn't there. i walked over to where i knew he would be at. I walked in he was passed out on someone's bed. i got him up and drove him to our house his car.(i don't have a liscense) we're both adopted, both depressed, ....just alot of problems really. also the house he was at i used to live at. One person who lives there gets drunk and urinates in weird places and one time in a drunken rage started swinging a sword around and i think he was seriously going to kill me....you should have seen the look in his eyes. My best friend just recently died of an overdose, we hadn't talked in a year because of a certain "incident". just alot of things to get off my chest. don;t know if anyone will read this but that's some of what's going on in my head right now. thoughts racing can't type them all.

Replies(3)

PenguinsRus

replied on March 14th, 2008

Moderator

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a family member is NEVER easy, especially when it is your mother. Is your father still around, or are you taking full care of your brother? It is really amazing of you for taking such good care of him and worrying about him. It is incredible you are still able to work a 10 hour day on top of all the stress and grieving.

Have you talked to anyone about your brother? You should not be going through this alone. Maybe you should bring it up to a trusted adult or someone who can get him help.

I'm sorry to hear about your best friend as well. It's terrible that those two things happened so close together. You must feel very upset and lost lately. You are very strong for hanging in there. Do you see any type of counselor? It really may help if you don't. They are trained to help you work through this and know how to get you from thinking about the negative of the situation to remembering the positive memories and cherishing them. Sometimes making a scrapbook can help too. Maybe you should take pictures of your mom and physical memories of her (concert tickets for example) and glue them into a book. It is creative and will help you remember the good times instead of just focusing on the scary loss part.

If you need anyone to talk to, me as well as everyone else on this forum are here for you. Take care of yourself.

CarolDiane

replied on April 3rd, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

This sounds more like the greeving process then it does depression. Although they are similar in symtoms. Greeving takes time and everyone is different in the leangh of the cycle. Try not to get the two mixed up. You are both greeving badly. It's not like you lost her years ago and had time to regroup yourselves. It is going to take time. It is hard to loose a parent or child. Not an easy thing. You both will be fine.

marvel

replied on April 3rd, 2008

Supporter

hi, lonely_guy.
I'm so sorry to hear about all that you have been through.

I would like to give you kudos, because, even though all of this has happened, you're doing a remarkably good job of keeping yourself together and taking care of your brother.

Like MsCarrie, I think this sounds like a grieving process. People try to fill the void with other things, like alcohol. It's a sad story sometimes, because these fillers can end up taking on a large part of one's life.. for a very long time.

Have you two been to counselling or any type of therapy? I think it would be good for the both of you, especially since he's having these thoughts of suicide.

If you ever have more thoughts racing through your head, never hesitate to Private Message me, or any other supporters on here. We're here to listen! I sincerely wish you the best!

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