i just started with my finals and i just realized how much i hate my life. Im 18 relatively good looking (4-5trainings a week) , but that doesn help in any way as i just feel totaly miserable. For last 4 year i was trying to get a friend of mine to go out with me and for four years she declined me - not directly but more avoidingly. I even went to prom with her but now she rejected me completely and i realized that i threw away 4 years of my high school and that i blew a superb relationship wwith another girl, just because i couldnt stop thinging aboute the first one.To make matters worse im having troubles at home and recently am getting more and more suicidal thoughts and i really don't know what to do. I though about taling with some of my friends but i realized that thy are basically dickheads and that i appearently blew at making friends too.
Both of you are obviously depressed. Treatment can help. I've struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life and have had it get better with treatment.
I think you haven't died yet because believe it or not you have a purpose here. You will die when you have completed whatever that is.
As for life experiences depressing you, I can tell you with confidence that these feelings pass and then years later you look back and realize how much stronger you are and that the things you wanted then weren't what was best for you after all.
Maybe you could look into some books about spirituality. It might help while you seek treatment for depression.
Also, I've come to realize that you can find much fulfillment in focusing more on others and trying to help make their existence here a little better.