hi everyone,i hope i won't be judged by this,first of all i want to say i really wish i had come across this site early enough,i would have made a better choice.
my problems begun in june when i found out i was pregnant,i had been with my boyfriend for 6months,but during this time,he had expressed wanting children and getting married,yes i know i was very stupid to believe him.anyhow the day i did the pregnancy test(he made me do it) we were both shocked and he said well its happened too early but thats ok,as we were planning on having kids next year,that gave me comfort and i thought everything was going to be fine.anyhow a month later he begun to distance himself from me,then invited me over to his home,i spent 4days with him,and on the day i was due to return to mine,he then told me he didnt want me to have the baby and that i should have a termination,i was sad,he also stressed he didnt want anything to do with this baby etc
that made me realise i was stuck,didnt have finance to raise this child etc,i signed myself up to babycenter,where i met girls in similar situations,the only problem was alot of them where prolife,and now i also realised most of them didnt have much ambition in life and each time i expressed or talked about my financial worry all they kept saying was,a baby doesn't need money all ababy needs is love,how foolish was i to believe this.each time i said my baby deserves a better life than what i can offer right now,they talked me out of it saying,u can do it and you dont need that much money,you'll get benefits etc,with all this talk i realised too late at 22weeks when i was determined and realised these girls are on a different page as myself,iam ambitious and i am not used to living on the breadline like they all seemed to be,when i finally went to book for my 22week abortion,i was told all clinics were fully booked,and i was given appointment in 2weeks which meant legally i couldnt be given abortion,i cried and was helpless,at 24weeks i went into hospital and demanded i be reconsidered for a termination,they refused and now am stuck with a baby which am not going to lie,i would want to keep given the right circumstances,but i dont have a house,the council havent housed me still,now i have had social services threatening to take my baby claiming am not good enough for her because i asked for a termination at 24weeks which apparently is legal,and now they state i am a danger to my unborn baby,i cannot tell you how much in the dumps iam right now,these social services are on my case like vultures just waiting to prey on my unborn child,they have made the situation even worse now,i cant adopt my baby,i would rather have her and be left alone,am now 34weeks gone and i just cannot believe i didnt make the right choice to have a termination much earlier,i regret listening to the girls i met,i should have realised the type of life they lead was way different to mine,i feel bad my baby is going to have a very cheap upbringing,this is something i have always been against and always said i wouldnt put a child thru this,now i cant believe how iv let it happen,i cry each day,i have even prayed for a still birth,thats how sad iam for my baby,i hate for her to live a crap life on the benefits system with social services running our lives
my advice to anyone,please stick to your beliefs and never be FOOLED BY ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU,ALL ABABY NEEDS IS LOVE,you cant feed your child on love alone,i was wrong to listen to them,yes a child needs love but we need money to help with alot of the situations like making a comfortable stable life for our children,please please,always stick to what you've always imagined your life tobe and if u cant meet that dont have a baby,please i would love some advice on how i can make things better
meanwhile my ex father to baby is a very wealthy man,who does so much charity work but refuses to help with even buying a pram for this child,my conclusion is,i dont think he cares about these charities and is only doing so to promote his company,he lives very extravagantly but am just going to struggle on my own,it makes my situation harder watching him live it up while i struggle with this child,i feel very sorry for my unborn baby,poor thing has nothing but with a dad who couldnt spare any change for her nappies.again guys never do what i did,i should have realised soon enough i wasnt financially capable,i pray every day that my finance situation will change some day,thanks for taking the time to read this depressing post