First let me say that the dress you are wearing is beautiful. I do not think your attackes are "weird" at all. I think that you are bold enough to admit likely what others may not. The mind is a wonderful thing and many people spend their lives trying to figure it out but to no real avail. Those attacks, in my feeling, may be subliminal "outburts" of memories that come to haunt us every now and then. When I have those moments, I ride thru them, question what it was about, frustrate myself because I have no answer, and, as I am a writer, I generally will write about it, if I remember the details. It is not a panic attack per se, but perhaps when you have so much on your mind, those thoughts are repressed and then surface when the mind is somewhat clear but it puts you in a mental fog. Been there and it scares me sometimes but it is what it is. Not weird, just life.