hello sparky,
i can really feel your pain just reading your post. it sounds like you are going through a lot, and i can totally understand your frustration with modern medicine. unfortunately, so little is actually known about the body that most of the time we are just shooting in the dark.
no matter what situation we are handed, the only thing that we truly have control over is how we react to it. your anger, frustration, and sadness are completely normal and in alot of ways healthy reactions.
do you have any close family or friends that can help you out a bit as you are going through this time?
sometimes we need a little help from our friends, and this is quite alright. other times we can be there for them.
i hope that you will find something or someone in your life that gives you hope and strength to keep on fighting.
life is full of struggles. some physical, some emotional. it is only our attitude and determination to make the best of what we have that has the power to transform life from a living hell to a living heaven.
please feel free to write back anytime!
sincerely,
daniel