This is my first post. i was looking on the internet at death anxiety and fear of being alone and i found this. I just turned 16 and i loved being alone. I’ve always had a fear of dying young. Ever since i was about 5 i thought this, maybe its just i cant ever see myself getting married n going to collage even though a really want to. A series of near death experiences with my dumb friends made my anxiety come to a peak. My first attack was my first and last time high, taking 10 triple c's. After i took them w my friends i felt numb, i made my bf of 3yrs come and take me home, i made it inside and told my mom while trying not to slur that i was tired and going to bed. i wobbled to my room and put my pjs on and told myself to just lye down. All of a sudden my brain and heart started to burn, my heart was out of my chest and I was shaking uncontrollably, everything turned black, next ting I know I was in my moms room saying “this is it, I knew I would dye young call 911.” story goes on. Basically duh I lived. My mom is a single parent, my dad died when i was 7, she works late nights and leaves me alone. This was never a problem, but when she leaves and my bf isn’t there, if I hear the smallest noise I thing someone’s breaking in and killing me, I always barricade my door. Its soo stupid! If I hear an airplane I think its meteors crashing and ending the earth. I think too much when im alone. I think im going crazy. Last night all I could think about was death. I started shaking my heart was beating really hard, I actually thought I was dying. I cant take this nemore n I need help!! i just dont wanna live life worrying.