I have my ptsd from growing up in an abusive home. His experiences in war I'm sure are very troubling and still fresh.

Feeling angry at times is part of the condition. It happens. I would just let it go. If it happens again, you could address it later when he's calm! I wouldn't address it when he's angry because, most likely, you'll just hear an angry responce. I wouldn't be accusatory.

As far as advice. Try to be supportive as you can. Accept that sometimes he will be angry. Don't try to fight that fact or reason it out. It's just the way it is. Why wouldn't he be angry? He came back from the war with a mental injury. I'm sure it's very frustrating for him that he has ptsd. Part of the condition is having difficulties with emotions.
If I were you, I wouldn't blame myself or him. A lot of people on the forums, including myself, have loved people with mental health conditions. If we want them to be as if they don't have it, we're going to be mad ourselves and completely frustrated! I've been down that path. Sometimes, we just have to accept a person with their behaviors as they are. Easier said than done!

Next time it happens I know what to do. It is true about we want them to be as if they don't have it then we will always be upset and wanting to fix things instead of accepting it and try to be supportive and understanding. Your response really helps put things into perspective. I think that I would have kept trying to talk to him when he was angry instead of waiting it out letting it go. This is the first time it has happened so I really didn't know what was going on. He has been having a really difficult time sleeping lately too. He gets up in the middle of the night and watches TV and is constantly wondering around the house. I am not sure what triggered this all of the sudden. He may just be having a bad week. It is frustrating because I want to help him but can't.

I got through this with my husband. He came back from Iraq 2 yrs ago as a changed person.
He is the same guy i fell in-love with when he is with me and the family but when put under the least amount of stress he transforms into someone else gets up and starts hipervenalating and just getting very angry.After all this time i have come to learn to step away from him during those epesodes but not to leave the room because he explains to me that just having me there makes him feel safe and supported. My advice is to stop trying to understand and fix things but just accept it and with time maybe he will come around and tell you what is on him mind during those epesodes. Because they go thrugh so much day and night (all night) and they just need us to be strong.
I know exactly what you feel ... Whe feel impotent to this situation.
I wish you the best of luck

Hi, Im sorry for all of the spouses of individuals with PTSD, no matter what the source....

I have PTSD, and when I feel that rage, I know its about my PTSD, so I usually move to a "safe" place. Outside is good for me: it grounds me, and gives me the space to get perspective and calm, and even run if I need to.

My husband is great: he knows to just let me go, and that I will come back when I feel "safe". I do not want him around because my rage takes up so much "space".

We have small children, and he tells them that Im angry, NOT ABOUT THEM, and that people get angry sometimes, and its OK, I went for a walk to calm.

Then we use the opportunity to teach the children how to get rid of the mad in us (we go for a walk). Theres a great kids book called "when Sophie gets mad"......

Hang in there. Ask what he needs., make him go to therapy.
Good luck!

Hello I would just like to say thank the spouses for all their support.

I have been dealing with ptsd for about 3 years now after my tour in Afghanistan. It�s not easy to deal with people after you come home. If you think about it while some one is out in a war torn province or city they are constantly on edge. Everything that we take in (for the most part) is information to keep you or your buddies to your left and right alive. So when we get back to the "real world" we expect the same as if we where back over "there" as far as conversations. For example I bet when your spouse came back if you asked them a couple weeks after getting back home to make a dissension about something in the house that wasn't major, more than likely your spouse would answer something like "it does not matter to me" or " whatever you think is best." see it�s not a matter of life and death. So I know with me and my experiences� it sometimes frustrates me that I can�t deal in absolutes and have things in simple black and white. I am not harping on anyone here I�m just saying that it is difficult to deal with people after they get back from places like Iraq or Afghanistan. I have found that therapy sometimes works to make you realize that you�re different from who you where, and that you sometimes have to handle some situations differently then you did before you left to go overseas. Hell I still have a hard time realizing that and it�s been three years so far. Also therapy can sometimes aggravate the living hell out of you. It just depends if you have a therapist that you feel comfortable with. I know with my situation it�s about feeling venerable, and anger, frustration, or just plain avoidance is a defense mechanism, but with time and willingness to work through things I�m sure that everything will work out just fine. I know that sometimes I talk a little about some of the things that I went thru over there with a very select few of my family and maybe one or two really close friends (most of them are prior military so it helps me out a lot). Unfortunately sometimes there are things that just trigger on a relapse of that good old fight or flight syndrome (in a soldiers case a fight or fight syndrome) such as a smell, certain sounds, or even pictures of places that look similar to Iraq or Afghanistan can trigger a reaction. Sometimes a reaction can range from anger, to sadness, or even out right fear. Knowing what I know from dealing with this beast for a little while now I would say this for advice. Try and find out what your spouse went thru (be subtle about it and it will, or might take a while for someone to open up, which is perfectly normal, if they avoid the conversation save the discussion for another day). But most of all listen to their story (you might not like hearing it but it will do wonders for your understanding of what all is going on). Well I have blabbed enough just hang in there and before too long you should have a better understanding, and it does get better with time.

My boyfriend spent 16 long months in Iraq. He came back with PTSD along with a list of other conditions. We have gone through the same situations that you have. Going out to dinner one night, he got suspicious of another customer across the room. He was infantry, so he constantly is checking places with a lot of people for suspicious activity.
My boyfriend will get upset, like yours did, when he forgets things or can't find something. He couldn't find his wallet right before we were leaving for a dinner (in his honor none-the-less). And he became so upset with himself that I thought we were going to have to cancel. We found the wallet and I hugged him and told him that I loved him. It took about 30 minutes, but it finally washed away and he was the same goofy guy I fell in love with all those years ago.
Every one is different with PTSD. In my opinion, if he acts like that again just remind yourself that it isn't you or anything you did. Give him some time to do whatever it is he needs to do. I've noticed that group therapy helps my boyfriend best. Adjusting to civilian life has been his biggest challenge. Being in a group of people who know what he feels can be some of the best therapy there is.
You may also want to look into a "support group" for you. It doesn't have to be official or anything. Just a person who doesn't mind listening and can let you vent. It may be a good starting point for you. Since I was with my boyfriend while he was in Iraq, I have a few symptoms of it as well. Nowhere near as badly as his, but lets just say I know when I need to find a place to cry a lot. I hope this helps and that you and your boyfriend are doing well!