Schizophrenia Forum - Dealing with family

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Q: Dealing with family

asked by: kaz79 on July 16th, 2009

New User

For the sake of my family I try really, really hard to be as normal as I can around them but I don't think I'm doing myself any favors. They seem to expect so much of me. It's like they think I can manage looking after my mother or visitors and tend to their needs without it effecting me.... they don't know that I feel like everything is closing in on me and I feel like I want to run and hide and I feel so tired and I'm trying to listen to conversation but it's so noisy in my head.

What do you do? I don't want them to read the brochures from the hospital because I'm afraid they'll never take me seriously again and try and use the information to control me - but I want them to know how hard it is for me.

I'd try to talk to them but when it comes to me discussing my illness it's like they don't want to know or worse that they don't believe me or something.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this or experiences of their own to speak of? I'd be grateful for any feedback at all people can give me on this.

Replies(8)

mikedarkkid

replied on July 17th, 2009

Experienced User

I had exactly the same problem as yoy. everything was normal and happy at home, and i am such a "perfect son", good grades, kind polite. All that time i heard voices telling me to kill them, and constantly felt angry at them. I even thought that they were drugging me to brainwash me... i still think all this, but it was such a contrast with their image of me. I started seeing the school counselller, and after some discussion we agreed that she would tell my parents. They found out, but nothing has changed. Its so frustrating. I need help. Badly! and my parents act as if there's no problem. I am getting worried again, because the voices kepp telling me that they are planning something, and trying to hide it from me. To be honest, seek outside help, and don't get your parents involved!

mikedarkkid

replied on July 17th, 2009

Experienced User

Also, about it being "noisy in my head", i have that as well. if ull look ive put up a topic about ways to stop that, so ill check and get back to you with some of their ideas

kaz79

replied on July 17th, 2009

New User

Thanks mikedarkkid for your reply, however I may have given the wrong impression as I am a middle-aged adult forced to live with my family as I only have a very small income on the disability pension.

I honestly don't think they're planning anything against me because I know that to be delusional thinking but I do think they are suspicious of me sometimes.

Mostly I hate it because they just don't understand me and don't even seem to try.

mikedarkkid

replied on July 18th, 2009

Experienced User

To be honest i think that they will take you seriously. They will realise the problem and give you some more space, rather than expect you to do so much. The easiest thing to do would be to "accidently" leave the hospital leaflets on display where they're bound to find them and read them. That way they know, but you haven't had to go through the trouble of telling them.

StrawberryJam

replied on July 18th, 2009

New User

I'm in the process of telling my family too but I know exactly what you mean about the brochure thing, I'm avoiding giving them some too. I'm moving to live with my Nan soon and she doesn't know so I decided I'd have to tell my family about it. Still, just telling them the symptoms sounds like I'm trying to make an excuse and being lazy so I'm writing a diary so that they can see what it is like for themselves. I think if you tell them in a way that lets them understand properly they should support you. Good luck!

mikedarkkid

replied on July 18th, 2009

Experienced User

Ye you could write a diary and leave it somewhere they will find it. Then they will realise.

kaz79

replied on July 18th, 2009

New User

Thanks for the ideas, people. I guess when I think about it that it's maybe not all as bad as I think. Or maybe it is.

Maybe it's just inside my mind that I think they all think I'm lazy and a malingerer who doesn't want to work. Maybe I'm only expressing the fears of my subconscious or putting it on to them or something.

It's just the things they say to me sometimes like I'm a "disappointment" to them and that I should try harder and that my education was a waste.

I don't know - I was emotionally neglected and abused as a child so who is to say it's not still happening even though I'm an adult.

It annoys me - that medical organizations always seem to focus on the family and how hard it is for them to have a schizophrenic in the family. Never how hard it is for the schizophrenic to be with their family.

mikedarkkid

replied on July 19th, 2009

Experienced User

I know. when i first saw a psychologist they constantly went on about how hard it would be for my family, but not once did they talk about how hard it would be for me living with my family!

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