Hello,

I am 26 my ex is 25.

I was engaged to a girl for about a year after dating her for ~4 months before that. All in all, things have been pretty good between us. We would have our occasional fight, but nothing really major. We were basically each others best friend.

When we began to go out, she was very close to her father. However, her father began to develop a dislike for me (for reasons I don't really know) and over time it began to cause problems with my fiance. It got to the point about 4 months ago where they stopped talking altogether. This really bothered my fiance. We would talk about it alot. She didn't blame me for anything that happened, she blamed it all on her father.

My fiance has always been one to change her mind quite often about career/life issues. In literally a matter of days she would decide that she wanted to be a teacher, then a doctor (thus leaving school for teaching), and then decide that she wanted to do something else. She had some emotional problems about a year ago and began seeing a counselor.

We live in the Carolinas, and the stress of her father was beginning to get to her. Randomly, she decided that we should pack up our lives (I have a good job go to school here) and move to Oregon. She came to this conclusion in about a week. She told me she loved me, but that she had to move. She begged me to come.

Obviously, I was confused where she was coming (because it was so sudden and didn't make much sense with no job place to live and all) from and told her that maybe she should go by herself. The night she left, she had her father come and move her stuff out. She planned to stay with him for a day or two before leaving. She got her health insurance dropped from me and signed up for a place in Oregon too.

Before she left, she told me that she knew there was something wrong with her, and she told me that once she got her life figured out, she would come back and find me so we could be together again. We cried and talked for a bit, and then she gave me a huge kiss goodbye and she was off.

The next day, she apparently had a breakdown and needed to see her psychiatrist. She decided not to move afterall. She sent me a letter left me a voice mail telling me how much she loved me and how none of this had to do with her feelings for me and how she hoped I would forgive her and that she needed to get her life in order.

This was all about a month ago. Since then, I've spoken with her 2-3 times, and seems distance to me every time. She treats me almost like a stranger. She has told our mutual friends that she loves me, but just isn't ready to marry me yet, that she has to figure herself out first. She has also reconciled things with her father (who again hates me) I sent her flowers yesterday with a note telling her how I felt (which was only filled with kind, non-pushy words). She called me to thank me for the flowers and seemed very happy. I asked her if we could get together at some point and she got very cold towards me. She said that she couldn't even think about that yet because she hasn't even found a new place to live in the area yet. That is the last I've spoken with her.

Does anyone have any advice on the situation? Does it sound like I should chalk up everything and move on? Has anyone been in a similar situation ever? Any words of advice/encouragement would be appreciated.

Sorry for the long story, needed to vent.

Thanks
-Brian