Steve,
I replied to your first post. I am sorry to hear that you are still having difficulty with this.
Spring is really a rough time of the year for those with bipolar disorder. Manic behavior seems to exacerbate during the spring.
It is so hard to get someone to go for help if they are unwilling. You need to remember that if you don't take care of yourself then you will not be able to be there for your wife. Find a therapist who has experience with bipolar disorder and go for yourself. It is important that the therapist knows about bipolar disorder. Many of the behaviors can be misconstrued by someone if they do not understand the nature of bipolar disorder. You need someone to just listen to you and offer you some ideas about dealing with your wife.
The first thing that must happen is that she is treated with medication. All the therapy in the world is a waste of time until some stability is reached. She can not process or implement the coping skills she may be given if she is unstable. Trying to convince her of needing the help is the rub here. Keep communication open to her. She will come back and most likely want help at that point. Jump on it when the occasion presents itself.
I am concerned for you. This strain is hard to take. I have a son that is struggling right now and the stress is getting to me. I know how difficult things can be. In many ways you have the more difficult situation. Adults can choose to get treatment. Children don't have the ability to opt out.
We at ehealth are here for you. We can try to offer suggestions. Keep us posted.