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dealing with anniversary of death

This Friday will be the 1 year anniversary of my husband's death. i'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it. I'm already very jittery and haveing anxiety attack's. his passing was due to suicide. I'm not sure how my two kid's are going to deal with this either. If anyone has dealt with something similar and have met the 1 year mark , please tell me what you did and how you made it.
I'm not sure if i posted in the right place and if i didn't i'm sorry.
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replied September 15th, 2008
I know what it's like
My wife passed away a few years ago and it was sudden and unexpected. It was ruled an "accident", but she was bipolar and I have my doubts.

For the first anniversary, I didn't plan anything because I knew I would be a basket case; thus, anything planned would not have worked out for me. On the anniversary, I did things that we enjoyed together and a couple of things that she enjoyed. The day was a struggle, yet I was able to get a smile and a laugh out here and there. Not planning was the best thing for me, and the key was to put no expectations on myself and others. Also, I steered away from friends and family who offered too much sympathy or advice on the day. They had no clue as to my emotional state; that worked out best too. I'd like to add that subsequent anniversaries have been easier.
Best wishes,
Rob
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replied July 1st, 2009
Experienced User
well let me start by saying everyone litterally all died in my family in june . my brother was murdered in june, my mother cimmitted suicide in june, my sister died of heart problems, my grandfather of suicide my grandmother of cancer, and on and on, even my moms beloved dog died in june. its a horrible month for me its so bad i dont leave the house. now my 17 year old son is driving and i was a nervouse wreck over him being out. i suffered a long time with different phobias but im down to just really not being anywhere outside my house when its raining where i feel safe. all i can say is celebrate the day with your childreen as his birthday with God. watch his fav movies. play his fav music. make collages with pictures your children can be happy doing this rather then making it a sad day for them. as mothers we need to make sure they dont get depressed or find a reason to be.for their well being. ell want you to be happy. good luck in the years to come
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replied July 2nd, 2009
Yea or you could do like an epic memorial, you know one that would be in the papers, like a family reunion suicide, in the same room and everything!
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replied October 19th, 2009
Anniversary of Birthdays or Date of Passing
well i lost BOTH of my parents in 2004 - 9 months apart and I am the oldest and all 7 of my siblings look to me to see how to react. Tomorrow is actually my mother's birthday she wouldv'e been 44. Its extremely hard..but each year we go out and celebrate her birthday. The 1st year we cried alot and there was alot of silence. The 2nd year we actually lit a single candle on a cupcake, the 3rd and 4th year we got latex balloons wrote message and set them off over the hudson. this year all of the kids are just going out for pizza and i thought we would all light a candle and make a wish.
on the anniversary of their passing i make them write a memory or happy time that we shared with our parents, then i make them write a time where they were needed in the past year and the last i ask them to write a time where they got through something because of the strength they have given us whether its from a lesson they taught while they were with us or knowing we had a guardian angel and we make a "time capsule" and each following year we go back and read and smile knowing we will make it though it all 1 day at a time..
love your kids.. dont put your fears on them. teach them well by talking to them.. let them know you were young, you know about temptations, consequences and rewards. be as open and honest and NEVER TAKE TODAY FOR GRANTED
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replied May 23rd, 2010
I lost my son on May 26/08 and he killed his self also I go to the place I found him hanging and talk to him.It help some but as for the pain it never goes away.Just talk to your kids about it and ask how they feel and what they would want to do.My son was only 21 and the funny thing is he wasn,t depressed but happy.He was getting all he wanted and work for.that same week.
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replied October 11th, 2011
coco89
It will be a week before it is the end of the first year without my partner. I am progressively becoming more scared but thank all those that have posted for their comments and experiences
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