I am six months into a fairly serious relationship with an eighteen year old guy, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia several years ago. I have known about his condition since we started dating, although he has not suffered an episode in all the time I have known him, and we rarely talk about it. Having some relationship problems which are putting us both through a fair degree of trauma (although seem to be on the mend, and we are very much still together) seems to have triggered an episode. I got a late night phone call from my boyfriend, who told me that although he knew it sounded crazy, he couldnt shake off the feeling that "something was wrong" in his room. He had spent a long time, he said, upturning everything in his room to find what it was and fix it, but it was still there, something was in his room and it was scaring him. He was crying (I've never heard him cry before) and I found it shocking, and difficult to deal with.
I know during times like this, he has a tendancy to isolate himself from all company, and while I do what I can to get him out the house, the hours he spends alone in his room surely cannot help. I stayed on the phone the other night until he had stopped crying, seemed much calmer and insisted he was fine to go to bed. I was way out of my depth though, dealing with it, I hadnt a clue how to approach it, or what he needed to hear. Not having much of an insight into the condition myself doesn't help, either. If an episode like this were to occur again, and he turns to me, what can I do to help him, how should I approach dealing with it? Advice much needed, , although I know he has had times like this in the past, and am not overly concerned, I feel I need some tips on how to handle such a situation, and how to go about living with a schizophrenic in my everyday life.
Hi try schizophrenia.com forums. There are sections with people in relationships with schizophrenics (although I will warn you some people in that section can be a bit cold at times in their responses) and you will generally find more help and useful informations in the diagnosed section from schizophrenics themselves. Learn as much as you can about the illness and keep in mind there is a lot of mislead stigma surrounding the illness (like schizophrenics are vioelnt when infact more schizophrenics are the victims of violence rather than the aggressors). I hope you find what helps. You say you and he don't talk about it much, try to be more open with him. Try to talk to him ask him what he feels would help in such times. It can be a hard conversation to have and don't pressure him. Try and think about how you would feel in his situation and adress the situation in such a manner. There are plenty of articles of dealing with a partner with sz on that site I mentioned before. Goodluck.
This may sound harsh and i apologise. You have been together for only a short time, you say 6 months. Schizophrenia is for life. Do you really want the social, mental and physical responsibility for this person for the rest of your life?
Your sex life may be non existent, you may never have children, holidays may be very difficult, time out on your own may not be possible. He will say things that hurt you so bad deep inside that it may feel like your soul has been ripped out. Financially you may have to carry the burden.....I could go on....
Think very carefully......YOU have a life too.
This is just talking from my experience with my husband whom I love very much....however, I experience all of this on a daily basis....Good Luck
truthfully, it sounds as if you handled it just fine.That he called you for help says a lot. It means he trusts you, which is very important to note.I am sure it was shocking, but this will be your reality from time to time if you do chose to stay in a relationship with him. Sometimes it will be very hard. I won't lie. But,if he is a great guy, he could very well be worth it. When he is having an episode, telling him it isn't real won't help. But telling him you are there for him and you care and reassuring him is much more effective. I do agree with the sentiments of anoher poster here that suggests you seak a forum that offers support for the person who is in a relationship with a schizophrenic for better help and advice. As someone who loves a person suffering from this disorder, you need support as well. It can be as trying for you at times as it is for him. Best of luck to both of you!